The children of today are a hardened lot. My colleague recently informed me that she needed time off to take her 6 year old daughter for an early morning interview at one of the leading private schools in town. The trend in private schools in Kenya is for children to undergo an interview (written) to determine their suitability to join a particular school. Yes, even 5 & 6 year olds joining Standard 1 & 2 in these schools go through this interview process I learnt. I am not sure if my grown up daughters underwent the same interviews at the tender ages of 5 & 6 years old. It was too long ago for me to remember!
I began chatting with my colleague and she brought up an interesting issue that I had never thought about. While it is the right of every private school to prescribe entry level requirements to join their school, what happens to such a child who fails their interview process? Since the school is in all likelihood going to disclose the results of the interview to the parent and not the child, how does a parent break this news to the child that they have failed? Does a child of 5 or 6 years even understand the concept of failing at this tender age?
If I were the parent of a child who failed in such an interview, I would lie to my child that the school was full and could not take any more children, which means that my conscience is also pricked by that lie since I cannot tell my child the truth that they have failed a simple interview where numbers, alphabets, drawing and coloring were their undoing (how mistaken I was. see footnote herebelow!). What psychological trauma would my child suffer on account of the truth that they have failed in an interview at such an early age? Would the truth as told to them be then ingrained in their sub-conscious minds that they cannot possibly succeed in later life? Would it make them feel later on in life that they are good for nothing failures?
I honestly don’t know but this business of interview tests for very young children is just another money making scheme for the private schools similar to the practice of sale of tender documents in the corporate world supposedly to discourage time wasters and it should be discontinued because it is a source of worry to the parents should the child fail and a possible contributor of long term psychological trauma for the failed child and their lying parents!! Kids should be left to be kids at tender ages and subjecting them to tests that last throughout the day is surely taking things too far.
I am not an educationist and would like to understand the rationale behind these things because surely this must have the approval of some body within the government seeing that it has been happening for a very long time. Since all schools issue report forms to their students in whichever class they are in why aren’t these results taken as a record of the performance of a child and their ability therefore to proceed to the next class in a new school? Call me naïve if you wish but as a social commentator I need to know if this is right, just and fair!
Footnote: By the way, my colleague later disclosed to me that the interview tests are real and involve papers in English, Mathematics, Kiswahili & Social Sciences. Social Sciences!! No wonder these kids lug around those heavy school bags loaded with tomes of school books with many suffering from back problems at tender ages. And yes my colleague’s daughter passed the interview tests and shall be admitted to Standard 2 in the school in question.
Friday, 21 November 2014
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
For Men Only: Do you drill a hole in the ice?
This is a post that ladies shall not be able to understand because it relates to a closely guarded secret relating to a room frequented by men. So ladies stop right here……you have been warned!!
Now guys, I am sure you have all visited those high end hotels and restaurants that have sprouted across the country in the last few years. I am talking about those posh places where you are either invited as a guest for a cocktail party or a corporate event and where the price of a beer would afford you two beers at your local pub. I am specifically referring to those that now have the practice of conspicuously consuming huge quantities of ice……………………………..in their urinals which only happens in the men’s bathroom!
Before I continue, ladies………..…especially you over there in the corner (no names mentioned but you know yourself), yes you, stop reading now for this post is directed at the men!
I wondered for a long time why the waste of perfectly good ice in the men’s urinal. The secret can now be revealed. The main reason from my online research (yep…even such questions can be answered on google!) is that the melting ice acts as a slow, continuous flush washing away the warm piss as it melts the ice and more importantly leaves hardly any residual smell. It is also cheaper than those urinal balls that we are all used to. Inane as it may sound, many men also forget to flush away their piss even when the flush is provided at the urinal and in my opinion also prevents back splatter when your aim is off for reasons of trembling hands or being in drunken stagger mode or any other reasons. It also discourages flies from swarming since they cannot stand the cold air generated by the ice cube filled urinal.
Since I know that the ladies have heeded my warning and stopped reading this post after my initial warnings, I hope the guys can forgive me for revealing this secret of the men’s washrooms!!
But it doesn’t end there! I feel that there is a nefarious reason for the use of ice and it is also a plot to punish those who are getting on in age and are therefore unable to maintain a stream of piss strong enough to melt a substantial quantity of ice that a younger bloke would easily decimate in no time. The older you are the lesser the power of the stream so the possibility of drilling a hole clean through to the bottom of the ice should not be attempted lest you sprain one of the muscles that powers the piss stream!
I was reminded of this over the weekend when a visit to the urinal in one of those posh hotels revealed that the occupant prior to my visit had drilled a perfect hole right through to the bottom of the ice. My own lame attempt to emulate that fellow hardly seemed to shift any significant numbers of ice cubes much as a summoned all my reserves leading me to the logical conclusion that I was clearly in the over the hill league when it comes to powering my stream which is hardly solace to someone trying hard to pretend that he is still very much in the picture when it comes to macho matters!!.
So, if you are no longer able to drill a hole in the ice you are not alone but have joined a growing list of dribblers whose abilities have taken a pounding in many fronts over the years. As for the ladies who could not follow simple instructions contained in the beginning of this post, you can be the ambassadors of the little secret that men have been hiding all these years.
Now guys, I am sure you have all visited those high end hotels and restaurants that have sprouted across the country in the last few years. I am talking about those posh places where you are either invited as a guest for a cocktail party or a corporate event and where the price of a beer would afford you two beers at your local pub. I am specifically referring to those that now have the practice of conspicuously consuming huge quantities of ice……………………………..in their urinals which only happens in the men’s bathroom!
Before I continue, ladies………..…especially you over there in the corner (no names mentioned but you know yourself), yes you, stop reading now for this post is directed at the men!
I wondered for a long time why the waste of perfectly good ice in the men’s urinal. The secret can now be revealed. The main reason from my online research (yep…even such questions can be answered on google!) is that the melting ice acts as a slow, continuous flush washing away the warm piss as it melts the ice and more importantly leaves hardly any residual smell. It is also cheaper than those urinal balls that we are all used to. Inane as it may sound, many men also forget to flush away their piss even when the flush is provided at the urinal and in my opinion also prevents back splatter when your aim is off for reasons of trembling hands or being in drunken stagger mode or any other reasons. It also discourages flies from swarming since they cannot stand the cold air generated by the ice cube filled urinal.
Since I know that the ladies have heeded my warning and stopped reading this post after my initial warnings, I hope the guys can forgive me for revealing this secret of the men’s washrooms!!
But it doesn’t end there! I feel that there is a nefarious reason for the use of ice and it is also a plot to punish those who are getting on in age and are therefore unable to maintain a stream of piss strong enough to melt a substantial quantity of ice that a younger bloke would easily decimate in no time. The older you are the lesser the power of the stream so the possibility of drilling a hole clean through to the bottom of the ice should not be attempted lest you sprain one of the muscles that powers the piss stream!
I was reminded of this over the weekend when a visit to the urinal in one of those posh hotels revealed that the occupant prior to my visit had drilled a perfect hole right through to the bottom of the ice. My own lame attempt to emulate that fellow hardly seemed to shift any significant numbers of ice cubes much as a summoned all my reserves leading me to the logical conclusion that I was clearly in the over the hill league when it comes to powering my stream which is hardly solace to someone trying hard to pretend that he is still very much in the picture when it comes to macho matters!!.
So, if you are no longer able to drill a hole in the ice you are not alone but have joined a growing list of dribblers whose abilities have taken a pounding in many fronts over the years. As for the ladies who could not follow simple instructions contained in the beginning of this post, you can be the ambassadors of the little secret that men have been hiding all these years.
Saturday, 15 November 2014
More insurance at my age. No thank you!
“Good morning Sir. I hope the Lord has been merciful and kind to you thus far!” the guy mumbled! At first I didn’t hear what he said so I asked him to repeat himself. This young man was probably in his early 20’s fresh out of college and raring to go out to make an impression in this big bad world selling life insurance. Why does everyone think that Bank Managers are always in need of life insurance and are therefore the first port of call for any aspiring insurance salesman?
Back to the young man! I stopped him dead in his tracks after he repeated his initial greeting unsure of what I had just heard and then proceeded to lecture him about his sales technique. You see, in sales and unless you are very sure of the affiliation of the party you are selling your products to never, ever invoke religion as a tactic to get empathy or whatever from your potential client more so now after Pastor Kanyari has been exposed for what he is though I digress!!
Invoking the name of the Lord to help you sell your product is unnecessary and unprofessional simply because you are telling the person you are selling to that you do not respect their religious beliefs. They could be atheists, agnostics, pagans, Hindus, Zoroastrians or Hare Krishna’s for all you know meaning that reference to the Lord could inevitably create a barrier with them. The fact that you have pre-judged a person as being of a Christian persuasion simply because of an assumption based on predominance, name and vocation is wrong and unacceptable and is like assuming that all those people that you meet in a bar are there to partake of an alcoholic drink!
I continued with my lecture to him that at the age of many Bank Managers it would be very expensive to purchase a life insurance product on account of our relatively advanced age and having been in the financial services sector for a considerable length of time then they would have long realized that the employers pension was never going to be enough on retirement and would have therefore already taken out a long term investment linked life policy as they plan for their retirement. In any case, I went on, I already had employer group linked policies for personal accident, medical and life and in addition I had three separate investment policies (one of them with his employer), a personal accident policy, a Domestic package policy, a motor policy, a separate medical policy and a golfer’s policy! All I now need is an insurance policy guaranteeing a reduction in my handicap in future!
The fact of the matter is that anyone over the age of 45 years is probably already in a relationship with one or more insurance companies on a long term investment policy to mature when they are in their 60’s. The focus therefore for the young aspiring insurance salesman should be on their age mates fresh out of college with hardly any commitments and get them to buy into a term life investment linked policy however small the initial premium. It looks like they believe that only the Bank Managers who can afford higher premium policies are the quickest way to riches! No wonder insurance penetration has been hovering around the 3% mark in Kenya for such a long time!
But this young guy was persistent I must admit and he must have been in the front row of his insurance sales class because after I was done, unfazed he asked me for references………………….. after offering to sell me WIBA! What, hadn’t he heard a thing I had said about age? I was now tempted to boot him out of my office because my friends are my age mates and the same argument as above holds true with many of them already having investment plans in place and sending them a fresh faced insurance salesman to sell them another policy would just piss them off royally!
What I told him in resignation at his persistence was that he was better off looking for people his own age that he could engage with and fascinate with the insurance products that he had to offer and forget about the guys who were already through with education policies and school fees policies because this is where many of my age mates are since they in all likelihood were already investing considerable amounts in investment linked life policies.
So my friends, you are safe because I decided a long time ago that I would not provide insurance references of my friend to salespeople to come and bother you in your offices. This is out of empathy since I know you feel the same way that I do when confronted by them yet you feel you are upto your ears in premium payments already.
Do however take out inpatient medical insurance for your aging parents since there are still some insurance underwriters that accept to have someone on cover so long as they have not surpassed a certain age. If my memory serves me right the one with the maximum age limit allows those upto the age of 75 to continue on cover so long as they signed up before that age but subject to certain restrictions on the scope of cover.
It would be appreciated if the same spirit of not referring me to any insurance salespeople would also be observed as a quid quo pro and with all due respect to the hard working people in insurance sales out there!
Back to the young man! I stopped him dead in his tracks after he repeated his initial greeting unsure of what I had just heard and then proceeded to lecture him about his sales technique. You see, in sales and unless you are very sure of the affiliation of the party you are selling your products to never, ever invoke religion as a tactic to get empathy or whatever from your potential client more so now after Pastor Kanyari has been exposed for what he is though I digress!!
Invoking the name of the Lord to help you sell your product is unnecessary and unprofessional simply because you are telling the person you are selling to that you do not respect their religious beliefs. They could be atheists, agnostics, pagans, Hindus, Zoroastrians or Hare Krishna’s for all you know meaning that reference to the Lord could inevitably create a barrier with them. The fact that you have pre-judged a person as being of a Christian persuasion simply because of an assumption based on predominance, name and vocation is wrong and unacceptable and is like assuming that all those people that you meet in a bar are there to partake of an alcoholic drink!
I continued with my lecture to him that at the age of many Bank Managers it would be very expensive to purchase a life insurance product on account of our relatively advanced age and having been in the financial services sector for a considerable length of time then they would have long realized that the employers pension was never going to be enough on retirement and would have therefore already taken out a long term investment linked life policy as they plan for their retirement. In any case, I went on, I already had employer group linked policies for personal accident, medical and life and in addition I had three separate investment policies (one of them with his employer), a personal accident policy, a Domestic package policy, a motor policy, a separate medical policy and a golfer’s policy! All I now need is an insurance policy guaranteeing a reduction in my handicap in future!
The fact of the matter is that anyone over the age of 45 years is probably already in a relationship with one or more insurance companies on a long term investment policy to mature when they are in their 60’s. The focus therefore for the young aspiring insurance salesman should be on their age mates fresh out of college with hardly any commitments and get them to buy into a term life investment linked policy however small the initial premium. It looks like they believe that only the Bank Managers who can afford higher premium policies are the quickest way to riches! No wonder insurance penetration has been hovering around the 3% mark in Kenya for such a long time!
But this young guy was persistent I must admit and he must have been in the front row of his insurance sales class because after I was done, unfazed he asked me for references………………….. after offering to sell me WIBA! What, hadn’t he heard a thing I had said about age? I was now tempted to boot him out of my office because my friends are my age mates and the same argument as above holds true with many of them already having investment plans in place and sending them a fresh faced insurance salesman to sell them another policy would just piss them off royally!
What I told him in resignation at his persistence was that he was better off looking for people his own age that he could engage with and fascinate with the insurance products that he had to offer and forget about the guys who were already through with education policies and school fees policies because this is where many of my age mates are since they in all likelihood were already investing considerable amounts in investment linked life policies.
So my friends, you are safe because I decided a long time ago that I would not provide insurance references of my friend to salespeople to come and bother you in your offices. This is out of empathy since I know you feel the same way that I do when confronted by them yet you feel you are upto your ears in premium payments already.
Do however take out inpatient medical insurance for your aging parents since there are still some insurance underwriters that accept to have someone on cover so long as they have not surpassed a certain age. If my memory serves me right the one with the maximum age limit allows those upto the age of 75 to continue on cover so long as they signed up before that age but subject to certain restrictions on the scope of cover.
It would be appreciated if the same spirit of not referring me to any insurance salespeople would also be observed as a quid quo pro and with all due respect to the hard working people in insurance sales out there!
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
Is this the side of Nyeri that I have never seen?
Is this the side of Nyeri County that I always hear about but have never really seen first-hand, of young men too drunk most of the time to do anything meaningful with their lives? This story shall have to end rather abruptly because I have no conclusions and I am at a loss because an inheritance of the amount that he received would indicate that this is not your normal story of someone from a poor family being jobless and therefore unable to fend for himself and thus being reduced to a life of perennial drinking and partying.
Recently a man hobbling on crutches walks into my office. He looks to be in pain and do I detect a whiff of alcohol? You see I operate an open door policy (even if the physical door remains closed) where anyone, client or colleague, can walk in without an appointment and so long as I am not busy on something else.
As is my custom I welcome him into my office and he sits down. Now the smell of alcohol is undeniable and hangs heavily in the air. I suspect that this is another sob story to the Bank Manager and I can bet a million bob I will not be disappointed. So he starts off rather hesitantly about how he has recently had an accident with his vehicle and now the car requires to be fixed so that he may sell it, the quotation for which is a princely sum of Kshs. 125,000.00. He is expecting some money from another bank being his share of his late father’s estate and does not have the money in his account at present but would like a loan that we can then recover when the estate proceeds come in ‘soon’!
The guys is obviously inebriated, actually plastered would be a more apt description, despite it being only 1.00 pm in the afternoon and is repeating the same story in a different version trying to get me to see his side of the story. I tell him that I require to see evidence relating to the purported transfer of money to his account with us which after some fumbling and mumbling he claims to have understood. I then ask him in Kiswahili if he has understood me, “Umenielewa” to which he belligerently responds “Sijalewa” (I am not drunk)!! It takes a lot of my considerable will power for me not to burst out laughing because he is either hard of hearing or is hearing his own things but like the serious sot that he clearly is, he is denying his drunkenness even when he has not been asked the question!
Before I continue, let me retract a little and put this story into perspective as I found out after he had left the office on his merry way Kshs. 500.00 bob richer thanks to a loan to him.
The father passed away recently and was a businessman of considerable repute in town owning various businesses and properties. His assets were distributed by the administrators of his estate and the visitor to my office had inherited some good money in cash as well as the accident prone vehicle which he now needed to repair. It was probably just sheer luck that had kept him alive after the accidents as shall become clear shortly. God after all supposedly takes care of drunkards and children!
Immediately the inheritance was transferred to his recently opened account with the bank he started on a spree of heavy drinking and partying and wasteful spending if his current state was anything to go by. This ensured that a small fortune of over Kshs. 2 Million in cash was no more a few short months later. Daily cash withdrawals either at the ATM or at the bank counters while accompanied by a group of 2 or 3 henchmen no doubt out to share in the spoils was the order of the day and with no credits to the account this tap had to eventually run dry. Probably abandoned by his friends now that he is penniless he appears desperate to resume some semblance of a respectable life style and with no apparent income sources had visited the bank on a mission to spin me a yarn and convince me about some money coming to him as a further inheritance that I suspect is just a tale as tall as Aesop’s fables!
I was having none of his story which was disjointed and clumsy in any case and interspersed with tirades against other family members in successful businesses nearby and bitter denunciations about them all pointing to a rather troubled man. As I had figured out all along he changed tact and cut to the chase and openly asked me to lend him some money with promises of repaying me ‘soon’ which I parted with glad to get rid of him from my office which was now literally foggy with alcoholic fumes!!
As I sent him on his way with a Kshs. 500.00 loan (which I am sure I shall never see) and profuse expressions of gratitude from him I couldn’t help but feel sorry and wonder what had led to this troubled man being where he was. Was it a lack of financial discipline as he was growing up? Did he have a very disadvantaged upbringing? Or was he just a careless person?
Tafakari hayo!!
Recently a man hobbling on crutches walks into my office. He looks to be in pain and do I detect a whiff of alcohol? You see I operate an open door policy (even if the physical door remains closed) where anyone, client or colleague, can walk in without an appointment and so long as I am not busy on something else.
As is my custom I welcome him into my office and he sits down. Now the smell of alcohol is undeniable and hangs heavily in the air. I suspect that this is another sob story to the Bank Manager and I can bet a million bob I will not be disappointed. So he starts off rather hesitantly about how he has recently had an accident with his vehicle and now the car requires to be fixed so that he may sell it, the quotation for which is a princely sum of Kshs. 125,000.00. He is expecting some money from another bank being his share of his late father’s estate and does not have the money in his account at present but would like a loan that we can then recover when the estate proceeds come in ‘soon’!
The guys is obviously inebriated, actually plastered would be a more apt description, despite it being only 1.00 pm in the afternoon and is repeating the same story in a different version trying to get me to see his side of the story. I tell him that I require to see evidence relating to the purported transfer of money to his account with us which after some fumbling and mumbling he claims to have understood. I then ask him in Kiswahili if he has understood me, “Umenielewa” to which he belligerently responds “Sijalewa” (I am not drunk)!! It takes a lot of my considerable will power for me not to burst out laughing because he is either hard of hearing or is hearing his own things but like the serious sot that he clearly is, he is denying his drunkenness even when he has not been asked the question!
Before I continue, let me retract a little and put this story into perspective as I found out after he had left the office on his merry way Kshs. 500.00 bob richer thanks to a loan to him.
The father passed away recently and was a businessman of considerable repute in town owning various businesses and properties. His assets were distributed by the administrators of his estate and the visitor to my office had inherited some good money in cash as well as the accident prone vehicle which he now needed to repair. It was probably just sheer luck that had kept him alive after the accidents as shall become clear shortly. God after all supposedly takes care of drunkards and children!
Immediately the inheritance was transferred to his recently opened account with the bank he started on a spree of heavy drinking and partying and wasteful spending if his current state was anything to go by. This ensured that a small fortune of over Kshs. 2 Million in cash was no more a few short months later. Daily cash withdrawals either at the ATM or at the bank counters while accompanied by a group of 2 or 3 henchmen no doubt out to share in the spoils was the order of the day and with no credits to the account this tap had to eventually run dry. Probably abandoned by his friends now that he is penniless he appears desperate to resume some semblance of a respectable life style and with no apparent income sources had visited the bank on a mission to spin me a yarn and convince me about some money coming to him as a further inheritance that I suspect is just a tale as tall as Aesop’s fables!
I was having none of his story which was disjointed and clumsy in any case and interspersed with tirades against other family members in successful businesses nearby and bitter denunciations about them all pointing to a rather troubled man. As I had figured out all along he changed tact and cut to the chase and openly asked me to lend him some money with promises of repaying me ‘soon’ which I parted with glad to get rid of him from my office which was now literally foggy with alcoholic fumes!!
As I sent him on his way with a Kshs. 500.00 loan (which I am sure I shall never see) and profuse expressions of gratitude from him I couldn’t help but feel sorry and wonder what had led to this troubled man being where he was. Was it a lack of financial discipline as he was growing up? Did he have a very disadvantaged upbringing? Or was he just a careless person?
Tafakari hayo!!
Thursday, 6 November 2014
Pastor, Conman or Genius?
I am not surprised at the story that aired over a recent weekend on a leading TV station and that has caused a tumult and uproar across the length and breadth of Kenya. I am not surprised because I have come to the realization that the human being is capable of anything under the sun, moon and the entire solar system. As we fume, gallivant and curse this fellow let us take a moment to reflect on what he has done.
Wikipedia definition: “Potassium permanganate is an inorganic chemical compound with the chemical formula KMnO4. It is a salt consisting of K+ and MnO−4 ions. Formerly known as permanganate of potash or Condy's crystals, it is a strong oxidizing agent. It dissolves in water to give intensely pink or purple solutions, the evaporation of which leaves prismatic purplish-black glistening crystals”.
Forget all those long confusing words at the beginning of the definition and concentrate on the last sentence”………… dissolves in water to give intensely pink or purple solutions ………….” and that folks is how a Form 2 dropout conned masses of people into believing that when their feet were bathed in holy water they would bleed and have their sins expunged/illness dissolved and all for the princely sum of Kshs. 310.00.
Now rather than calling this guy a conman and at the risk of upsetting some already very upset folks out there, this guy is a genius Form 2 drop out or not! How could he have zeroed in on that one fact from a confusing scientific definition of a chemical substance and used it to his advantage to get people to believe in his bloody (pun intended) powers? What is different with the ignorant shuka clad ‘Maasai’ who goes around with a vial of fool’s gold dust and sells it to unsuspecting clueless but greedy people at a throwaway price who only realise that they have been conned at the assayers office when they go to have the ‘gold’ tested.
The problem with many of us is that we are all human beings in our approach to get rich/get well schemes and scams. It is such a revelation to know that only you have the magic key that shall open the door to unbelievable fortunes that given the right circumstances the “Maasai” with the fool's gold dust vial who does not seem to know the true value of what he is holding, ignorant and primitive as he may appear shall have you eating out of his hands for a piece of the action the minute his sob story touches your heart while he knows full well that the promise of a quick buck to you is enough motivation to ignore your better judgement! While at it you shall keep the information to yourself lest another spoilsport comes along to ruin your payday. What a genius………..!
There was a man who was exposed some years ago with a supposedly life threatening ailment which was in fact a well-made up liver that looked like a festering wound that he used to elicit donations from sympathetic passersby as he lay pitifully on the streets his ‘wound’ exposed for all to see. That fellow would have put any Hollywood makeup artist to shame with his creation which was so realistic that people were horrified just looking at his ‘wound’. He was a bloody genius if you ask me.
If these are not examples of gifted, talented geniuses then I think we have got it all wrong in terms of the definition of genius which is:
1. Exceptional intellectual or creative power or other natural ability. 2. An exceptionally intelligent person or one with exceptional skill in a particular area of activity. 3. A person regarded as exerting a powerful influence over another for good or evil.
So, if I may pose a question, why the outrage, shock and anger? Is it because our own inadequacies have been exposed while we secretly admire and marvel at the guts that are shown by these guys in using their creativity to make a livelihood for themselves? Is it because we are embarrassed that a Form 2 dropout got the drop (pun intended) on us and has conned our mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters while making a fortune along the way? Would we be reacting the same way if this was a professor of chemistry or would be applauding his genius obtained after too many hours bent over petri dishes, Bunsen burners, beakers and flasks while combining various chemicals of the reactivity tables?
For good measure, this conman pastor business is now one of the most trending topics on social media at present and he is revelling in the attention and free publicity that he is getting knowing full well he shall still have a packed house come Sunday. What a genius!!
I must hastily add that I am not an advocate of religious conmanship or any conmanship for that matter but a mere student of human nature who is making the point that we should try and look at the sheer inventiveness that goes into some of these scams and only hope that if this creative energy was harnessed in a more positive manner how far we would be as a country!
Friday, 24 October 2014
What is this leadership we have been saddled with?
Some stories sound stranger than fiction. When a whole senator is mentioned on social media as having misbehaved at an international airport and causing a security breach simply because he refuses to follow procedure of producing correct identification documents because he is a big shot yet such demands should be made on the hoi polloi ‘watu’ then we need to get really scared.
When an MP in obvious disregard of firearms handling protocols discharges his gun accidentally at an airport then we must ask ourselves some questions regarding his competence to carry a dagger let alone a loaded firearm. When another MP is accidentally shot by his own trained body guard who should be last person to shoot his charge then we must ask ourselves some searching questions about whether there was more to this saga than meets the eye!
When a senators wife is sensationally on national TV complaining to the world how her husband has made her life a living hell by removing all the furniture in the house, cutting off the water and electricity and even carting away the gas cylinder from the house just so that she can be forced to vacate a property where she resides courtesy of a court order, then brethren we need to ask ourselves what kind of leadership we have while running for the hills at full tilt!
When other elected leaders blatantly and in the full view of the world are named as beneficiaries of grabbed parcels of land worth billions of Kenya shillings from Lamu, Kisii, Makueni, Nairobi and other parts of the country then surely we must all be dreaming and shall soon wake up to find that it was indeed all just a bad nightmare!
I could go on and on with various examples of a leadership run amok but these examples should suffice being the most recent ones that come to mind because all this is happening while we are wide awake, sober, of sound mind and in a state of righteous indignation! Whether the stories are true or false is neither here nor there because as responsible leaders, like Ceaser’s wife, our leaders should be above suspicion and reproach. However, the regularity and continued mentions of scandalous behavior among one or other of our leadership gives rise to a probable likelihood of some truth in the tales to be believed even by their most diehard supporters!
Wikipedia describes leadership as "a process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task". For example, some understand a leader simply as somebody whom people follow or as somebody who guides or directs others, while others define leadership as "organizing a group of people to achieve a common goal". But, do our leaders really fit into this description of leadership based on the few examples portrayed above?
Looked at another way, and going by the popular adage that the people choose the leaders they deserve, does it mean that we are really no better than those that we elect from the hundreds of leaders that try to convince us that they are our best bet to get us from Sodom & Gomorrah to the Promised Land be it at the county or national level? Are we so narrow minded and parochial that we cannot elect any other leaders other than the same ones guaranteed to embarrass us one more time as their last hurray?
Many of the antics of the leaders (that we have collectively chosen) are nothing short of criminal and a blatant disregard for the rights under the constitution of those that have elected them and for which they have taken an oath to defend since they continue to trample us underfoot, ride roughshod on us and generally get away with literally murder.
Many of their antics would result in an immediate arrest for those less connected in the hallowed precincts of the corridors of power as has been demonstrated time and time again from as far back as any of us can remember and many of our retired politicians must be surely gnashing their teeth and tearing off their hair (where it exists) when they see these excesses whether they be still alive and (barely) kicking or somewhere in heaven, hell or that in between place called purgatory!! There must surely be two sets of criminal laws in existence in Kenya today, for the leaders and then for the rest of us hoi polloi ‘watu’ otherwise how else do you explain the apparent disconnect in the application of the law?
In the Kenyan context, we need to redefine leadership to include some of the antics and excesses portrayed by our leaders because why should be keep making the same mistakes year in year out of electing people with similar characteristics if they do not fit into the mold of responsible leaders and as per the universally accepted description from Wikipedia unless we are the perfect example of doing the same thing day in day out and hoping for different results!! It is likely that other countries out there also suffer from a dearth of good leadership but as good Africans we must firstly be intent on cleaning up our own leaders within our homestead before venturing out to correct the leadership in the next homestead!
I know we have some hard working and genuine leaders out there who are as unhappy with the state of affairs in our country as the majority of us voters are to whom I apologize to in advance. I am miffed and feeling utterly helpless about our predicament and a ‘ventfest’ was long overdue. If it is not one drama, it is another and twice on weekends just to piss us off more by Monday.
I shall not blame the devil for our predicament nor ask God for his intercession for that matter because we are where we are because we chose those that now lead us today - dirty socks, torn undies and all!!
When an MP in obvious disregard of firearms handling protocols discharges his gun accidentally at an airport then we must ask ourselves some questions regarding his competence to carry a dagger let alone a loaded firearm. When another MP is accidentally shot by his own trained body guard who should be last person to shoot his charge then we must ask ourselves some searching questions about whether there was more to this saga than meets the eye!
When a senators wife is sensationally on national TV complaining to the world how her husband has made her life a living hell by removing all the furniture in the house, cutting off the water and electricity and even carting away the gas cylinder from the house just so that she can be forced to vacate a property where she resides courtesy of a court order, then brethren we need to ask ourselves what kind of leadership we have while running for the hills at full tilt!
When other elected leaders blatantly and in the full view of the world are named as beneficiaries of grabbed parcels of land worth billions of Kenya shillings from Lamu, Kisii, Makueni, Nairobi and other parts of the country then surely we must all be dreaming and shall soon wake up to find that it was indeed all just a bad nightmare!
I could go on and on with various examples of a leadership run amok but these examples should suffice being the most recent ones that come to mind because all this is happening while we are wide awake, sober, of sound mind and in a state of righteous indignation! Whether the stories are true or false is neither here nor there because as responsible leaders, like Ceaser’s wife, our leaders should be above suspicion and reproach. However, the regularity and continued mentions of scandalous behavior among one or other of our leadership gives rise to a probable likelihood of some truth in the tales to be believed even by their most diehard supporters!
Wikipedia describes leadership as "a process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task". For example, some understand a leader simply as somebody whom people follow or as somebody who guides or directs others, while others define leadership as "organizing a group of people to achieve a common goal". But, do our leaders really fit into this description of leadership based on the few examples portrayed above?
Looked at another way, and going by the popular adage that the people choose the leaders they deserve, does it mean that we are really no better than those that we elect from the hundreds of leaders that try to convince us that they are our best bet to get us from Sodom & Gomorrah to the Promised Land be it at the county or national level? Are we so narrow minded and parochial that we cannot elect any other leaders other than the same ones guaranteed to embarrass us one more time as their last hurray?
Many of the antics of the leaders (that we have collectively chosen) are nothing short of criminal and a blatant disregard for the rights under the constitution of those that have elected them and for which they have taken an oath to defend since they continue to trample us underfoot, ride roughshod on us and generally get away with literally murder.
Many of their antics would result in an immediate arrest for those less connected in the hallowed precincts of the corridors of power as has been demonstrated time and time again from as far back as any of us can remember and many of our retired politicians must be surely gnashing their teeth and tearing off their hair (where it exists) when they see these excesses whether they be still alive and (barely) kicking or somewhere in heaven, hell or that in between place called purgatory!! There must surely be two sets of criminal laws in existence in Kenya today, for the leaders and then for the rest of us hoi polloi ‘watu’ otherwise how else do you explain the apparent disconnect in the application of the law?
In the Kenyan context, we need to redefine leadership to include some of the antics and excesses portrayed by our leaders because why should be keep making the same mistakes year in year out of electing people with similar characteristics if they do not fit into the mold of responsible leaders and as per the universally accepted description from Wikipedia unless we are the perfect example of doing the same thing day in day out and hoping for different results!! It is likely that other countries out there also suffer from a dearth of good leadership but as good Africans we must firstly be intent on cleaning up our own leaders within our homestead before venturing out to correct the leadership in the next homestead!
I know we have some hard working and genuine leaders out there who are as unhappy with the state of affairs in our country as the majority of us voters are to whom I apologize to in advance. I am miffed and feeling utterly helpless about our predicament and a ‘ventfest’ was long overdue. If it is not one drama, it is another and twice on weekends just to piss us off more by Monday.
I shall not blame the devil for our predicament nor ask God for his intercession for that matter because we are where we are because we chose those that now lead us today - dirty socks, torn undies and all!!
Tuesday, 14 October 2014
The inexorable march of progress along Mombasa Road:
I drove down to the Coast recently where I was a guest in a friend’s family villa for 3 days at Vipingo Ridge in Kilifi. The villa was my wife’s idea to celebrate my birthday and also get in a few days of golf and R&R. The villa is a modern 5 bedroom all en-suite place with a swimming pool and Jacuzzi and set in a well landscaped garden all fit for a king and his queen! We were well taken care of by the resident cook, housekeeper and gardener during our stay clearly more than eager to have visitors whom they could take care of. That’s a story for another day though!!
We always prefer to drive to the coast otherwise you are forced to hire a car for the duration of your stay so as to get around or worse still use a taxi cab at horrendous rates since taxis in Mombasa are so expensive. The drive down is an exercise in infinite patience and driving skill as you navigate the 500 odd kilometers or so of Mombasa Road from Nairobi competing with the heavy commercial vehicles transporting goods and commodities to and from various East African countries like DRC, Uganda, South Sudan, Rwanda & Burundi along with the long distance passenger buses racing to their destinations to pick up yet more passengers for the return journey from whence they set off.
Unlike other times we have driven to and from the Coast, this time there were few personal vehicles on the road and no tourist vans suggesting that Mombasa has taken a beating from the terrorism activities witnessed there over the past few months where hotels are struggling in terms of business…………..or most tourists are choosing to fly!
What struck me the most as we travelled down (and back) was the amount of ongoing projects along the route all seemingly geared towards the standard gauge rail project whose first phase is scheduled for completion in 2017 and whose construction was touted to commence in October 2014. Well folks I am happy to say that there is indeed some action happening on the ground in this regard.
I am sure that any project of such magnitude would have serious logistics in place to ensure that the tight timelines are met from land compensation issues, materials supplies, human resource needs, heavy equipment sourcing, security and so forth. This is evident wherever they have set up some camp or another along the entire route as they also create access roads and construct prefabricated structures and other necessities for the comfort and safety of their assets. A lot of heavy construction equipment is evident in many of the camps, possibly the main central supply camps to other smaller camps/work sites within a specified area. So as others choose to play politics with this very important project, stuff is definitely going on!!
We could also not help noticing the sheer volume of flatbed trucks laden with all sorts of heavy construction equipment as we drove to the Coast. Whether these are solely for the standard gauge rail project or for other projects across the country is not certain, but one thing is clear, the levels of investment in heavy construction equipment is impressive, as well as being a pointer to intense construction projects happening in the country. We also came across several convoys of extra-long trucks carrying wind generator towers and rotor blades (for probably Turkana Wind Farm). The sheer size of this equipment is mind boggling and a sight to behold with each blade being all of 50-70 feet or more in length. You can imagine the length of the truck transporting such equipment. Somewhere along the way, a convoy of trucks carrying boilers (or silos) slowed us down to a veritable crawl no doubt destined for one of the factories in the region
No doubt all this activity shall translate into business opportunities for a large number of people either directly involved in the actual projects as skilled laborers and suppliers or indirectly as beneficiaries of economic activity associated with large scale projects from accommodation facilities, hotels and restaurants, retail shops, mobile money, phone repairs, watch repairs etc along the planned routes. These kinds of projects have the potential to turn around whole communities that are located in the immediate neighborhood of the ongoing projects and any right thinking citizen should be as anxious to see that these projects are a success simply because of the physical changes that follow in their wake. India as an example, with its 60,000 kilometers of rail tracks has probably grown into an economic giant partly because of the ease of transporting, goods, services and people cheaply and over long distances thanks to the Indian Railways the largest public sector employer in that country.
Ironically, this project to some extent also spells doom to the main purveyors of the tonnes of equipment, supplies and materials required by the standard gauge project, the thousands of long haul trucks that have been the main transporter of goods and commodities from Mombasa to hundreds of industrial, commercial and institutional companies across East Africa once the cheaper and faster option of rail transport becomes a reality. But for now, the truck rules supreme as it cargoes its precious commodities and machinery to drive the economies of the East African Community member countries.
I am glad I drove down to the Coast and back notwithstanding the slow 7 hours journey thanks to the hundreds of trucks on the road because it gave me an opportunity to see the progress made in this mega project costing billions of shillings, probably the largest one in Kenya since independence as well as observe first-hand the movement of vast quantities of machinery, industrial goods and other commodities. Brace yourselves for emerging business opportunities when the Nairobi to Mombasa phase of the standard gauge rail project is completed because with journey times estimated at 4 hours one way to Mombasa, it shall be possible to live in Nairobi and run a comfortable and profitable business venture somewhere in Mtito Andei and yet commute daily back to Nairobi.
14/10/14
We always prefer to drive to the coast otherwise you are forced to hire a car for the duration of your stay so as to get around or worse still use a taxi cab at horrendous rates since taxis in Mombasa are so expensive. The drive down is an exercise in infinite patience and driving skill as you navigate the 500 odd kilometers or so of Mombasa Road from Nairobi competing with the heavy commercial vehicles transporting goods and commodities to and from various East African countries like DRC, Uganda, South Sudan, Rwanda & Burundi along with the long distance passenger buses racing to their destinations to pick up yet more passengers for the return journey from whence they set off.
Unlike other times we have driven to and from the Coast, this time there were few personal vehicles on the road and no tourist vans suggesting that Mombasa has taken a beating from the terrorism activities witnessed there over the past few months where hotels are struggling in terms of business…………..or most tourists are choosing to fly!
What struck me the most as we travelled down (and back) was the amount of ongoing projects along the route all seemingly geared towards the standard gauge rail project whose first phase is scheduled for completion in 2017 and whose construction was touted to commence in October 2014. Well folks I am happy to say that there is indeed some action happening on the ground in this regard.
I am sure that any project of such magnitude would have serious logistics in place to ensure that the tight timelines are met from land compensation issues, materials supplies, human resource needs, heavy equipment sourcing, security and so forth. This is evident wherever they have set up some camp or another along the entire route as they also create access roads and construct prefabricated structures and other necessities for the comfort and safety of their assets. A lot of heavy construction equipment is evident in many of the camps, possibly the main central supply camps to other smaller camps/work sites within a specified area. So as others choose to play politics with this very important project, stuff is definitely going on!!
We could also not help noticing the sheer volume of flatbed trucks laden with all sorts of heavy construction equipment as we drove to the Coast. Whether these are solely for the standard gauge rail project or for other projects across the country is not certain, but one thing is clear, the levels of investment in heavy construction equipment is impressive, as well as being a pointer to intense construction projects happening in the country. We also came across several convoys of extra-long trucks carrying wind generator towers and rotor blades (for probably Turkana Wind Farm). The sheer size of this equipment is mind boggling and a sight to behold with each blade being all of 50-70 feet or more in length. You can imagine the length of the truck transporting such equipment. Somewhere along the way, a convoy of trucks carrying boilers (or silos) slowed us down to a veritable crawl no doubt destined for one of the factories in the region
No doubt all this activity shall translate into business opportunities for a large number of people either directly involved in the actual projects as skilled laborers and suppliers or indirectly as beneficiaries of economic activity associated with large scale projects from accommodation facilities, hotels and restaurants, retail shops, mobile money, phone repairs, watch repairs etc along the planned routes. These kinds of projects have the potential to turn around whole communities that are located in the immediate neighborhood of the ongoing projects and any right thinking citizen should be as anxious to see that these projects are a success simply because of the physical changes that follow in their wake. India as an example, with its 60,000 kilometers of rail tracks has probably grown into an economic giant partly because of the ease of transporting, goods, services and people cheaply and over long distances thanks to the Indian Railways the largest public sector employer in that country.
Ironically, this project to some extent also spells doom to the main purveyors of the tonnes of equipment, supplies and materials required by the standard gauge project, the thousands of long haul trucks that have been the main transporter of goods and commodities from Mombasa to hundreds of industrial, commercial and institutional companies across East Africa once the cheaper and faster option of rail transport becomes a reality. But for now, the truck rules supreme as it cargoes its precious commodities and machinery to drive the economies of the East African Community member countries.
I am glad I drove down to the Coast and back notwithstanding the slow 7 hours journey thanks to the hundreds of trucks on the road because it gave me an opportunity to see the progress made in this mega project costing billions of shillings, probably the largest one in Kenya since independence as well as observe first-hand the movement of vast quantities of machinery, industrial goods and other commodities. Brace yourselves for emerging business opportunities when the Nairobi to Mombasa phase of the standard gauge rail project is completed because with journey times estimated at 4 hours one way to Mombasa, it shall be possible to live in Nairobi and run a comfortable and profitable business venture somewhere in Mtito Andei and yet commute daily back to Nairobi.
14/10/14
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