This is a post that ladies shall not be able to understand because it relates to a closely guarded secret relating to a room frequented by men. So ladies stop right here……you have been warned!!
Now guys, I am sure you have all visited those high end hotels and restaurants that have sprouted across the country in the last few years. I am talking about those posh places where you are either invited as a guest for a cocktail party or a corporate event and where the price of a beer would afford you two beers at your local pub. I am specifically referring to those that now have the practice of conspicuously consuming huge quantities of ice……………………………..in their urinals which only happens in the men’s bathroom!
Before I continue, ladies………..…especially you over there in the corner (no names mentioned but you know yourself), yes you, stop reading now for this post is directed at the men!
I wondered for a long time why the waste of perfectly good ice in the men’s urinal. The secret can now be revealed. The main reason from my online research (yep…even such questions can be answered on google!) is that the melting ice acts as a slow, continuous flush washing away the warm piss as it melts the ice and more importantly leaves hardly any residual smell. It is also cheaper than those urinal balls that we are all used to. Inane as it may sound, many men also forget to flush away their piss even when the flush is provided at the urinal and in my opinion also prevents back splatter when your aim is off for reasons of trembling hands or being in drunken stagger mode or any other reasons. It also discourages flies from swarming since they cannot stand the cold air generated by the ice cube filled urinal.
Since I know that the ladies have heeded my warning and stopped reading this post after my initial warnings, I hope the guys can forgive me for revealing this secret of the men’s washrooms!!
But it doesn’t end there! I feel that there is a nefarious reason for the use of ice and it is also a plot to punish those who are getting on in age and are therefore unable to maintain a stream of piss strong enough to melt a substantial quantity of ice that a younger bloke would easily decimate in no time. The older you are the lesser the power of the stream so the possibility of drilling a hole clean through to the bottom of the ice should not be attempted lest you sprain one of the muscles that powers the piss stream!
I was reminded of this over the weekend when a visit to the urinal in one of those posh hotels revealed that the occupant prior to my visit had drilled a perfect hole right through to the bottom of the ice. My own lame attempt to emulate that fellow hardly seemed to shift any significant numbers of ice cubes much as a summoned all my reserves leading me to the logical conclusion that I was clearly in the over the hill league when it comes to powering my stream which is hardly solace to someone trying hard to pretend that he is still very much in the picture when it comes to macho matters!!.
So, if you are no longer able to drill a hole in the ice you are not alone but have joined a growing list of dribblers whose abilities have taken a pounding in many fronts over the years. As for the ladies who could not follow simple instructions contained in the beginning of this post, you can be the ambassadors of the little secret that men have been hiding all these years.
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