Friday, 22 September 2017

All for the love of golf:


I am at a golf course standing on the tee addressing my golf ball. I grip the unfamiliar driver trying to get my standard address right and I look at the rising sun as it splits the well-manicured fairway. It is barely 7.00 am but you can tell this is going to be a scorcher of a day because after all summer is just beginning. After a series of practice strokes, I let one lose right down the middle of the fairway and hope that there is no hidden obstacles where my ball went. After all this is a new course and I am completely unfamiliar with its lay out……………..but I am getting ahead of myself so let me start from the beginning but with a disclaimer!

Those that are not golfers will in all likelihood be unable to relate to this narrative……………………but keep reading as it may just pique you interest in this game that all golfers love to hate.

We had taken a trip to the US recently. It was partly for business and partly for pleasure. I and my wife both have family and friends there so the pleasure part was all about visiting and reconnecting with them. After a 14 and a half hour flight from Dubai we arrived in New York, tired but happy to be on terra firma. The drama that awaited us at John F Kennedy International Airport is a story for another day, but suffice is to say, don’t carry food to America!

From there it was a short 2 hour flight to Chicago, Illinois where my sister in law and her family reside where we visited with them for two days as she was also leaving ironically for Kenya on an official assignment.

Then it was onto another flight, this time on a short hop to Atlanta, Georgia to attend an international conference of Rotarians of which both I and my wife are members. The venue was the Atlanta International Convention Centre smack in the heart of downtown Atlanta, a centre built specially for the Atlanta Olympic Games of 1996 but which has continued to attract huge events from across America thanks to its stupefying size and ability to morph to hold small or large events.
This Rotary conference had approx. 40,000 people in attendance all being hosted under one gigantic auditorium for the official part of the sessions with all being accommodated at the hundreds of hotels that have sprung up in the Atlanta area as a result of the convention centre. The conference logistics were handled by a team of hundreds of people to assist delegates from 150 countries navigate their way around Atlanta which is also a major tourist centre in its own right. It is highly likely that no single city in Africa can handle such a conference with so many delegates let alone accommodate 40,000 visitors and other tourists and businessmen in town on their own matters.

The business of the convention done after 4 days, it was now time to join my sister and her family that live not far from downtown Atlanta for some quality time with them. After checking out from the hotel, we were picked up by my brother in law Chris.

Now Chris is built like a wrestler………....hence his nickname Njogu which he loves! He is stocky and looks like he lifts small calves just for fun but he is a gentle giant. His southern drawl also takes some getting used to and the easiest way to understand what he is saying is to look at his mouth as he speaks. I am told that people from the Southern part of Georgia have a drawl that many Americans don’t understand but Chris’s accent is way better than most and since he is aware that we Kenyans struggle to comprehend what he is saying he speaks slowly for us to catch on.

No trip to a foreign country is complete without a round of golf as any golfer shall attest to and we were itching to play a course or two since we are also a golfing couple! My sister and hubby had planned a trip to Orlando, Florida an 8 hours’ drive from their home in Atlanta at a time share resort where they are vacation club members and this resort boasted of three golf courses so we were excited at the prospect of finally playing some golf.

The journey to Florida was long but uneventful save for the shameful and wasteful habit of Americans serving huge portions of food in the restaurants that we dined at enroute to and from Florida but leaving much of it on the plate uneaten and unappreciated. If only they knew the challenges faced by many people in Africa and other parts of the world to get a decent meal a day!!

The Holiday Inn Club Vacations at Orange Lake Resort which was to be our home for the next three days is located close to Disney World and Disney Animal Kingdom and is therefore a very popular holiday destination for families. It has three golf courses and a myriad of other family themed activities including various water rides and sits on about 1000 acres. The villas are laid out in various sections, probably 2000 or more huge and self-contained but you need to buy your own groceries at an onsite store though you also have a pick of dining at nine themed restaurants in the resort.

All vacation club members - my sister and her hubby - must attend a presentation as part of the check in process at an agreed time. It seems to also be the practice for any adult guests of members - I and my wife - at check in to attend a presentation on how to join the vacation club as a member and though this is not compulsory it is encouraged and they very cleverly throw in a free activity which you nevertheless have to pay for in advance to ensure that you attend the presentation but is refundable thereafter in cash whatever the outcome. Our free activity was a round of golf for which we paid the princely sum of $ 54 each.

The presentation time is fixed and at the risk of losing you money everyone tends to keep time. Both spouses must attend the presentation together and that is how we found ourselves in a well decked out room with several other people on a one on one presentation with an agent. They have free vending machines onsite that dispense tea, coffee, soda, juices, water and some snacks also in case you get thirsty or hungry.

This presentation is like none that I have ever been to before because each couple is assigned an agent who takes them through the full presentation and the facilities on offer. Where you are unable to agree on a price then the supervisor of the agent is next in line to try and convince you with an even juicier offer on the table. Finally the Manager himself is summoned for the most difficult of clients to try and convince them with a mouthwatering offer 75% less than the initial offer by the agent and payable in monthly instalments while you still get to enjoy the benefits of vacation membership.

There is no cajoling or coercion. No brow beating or threats, just good old fashioned salesmanship and those guys are really good at it……..but we were better! We declined all offers on the table based on the fact that we were unlikely to visit America anytime soon. As an example I told them that my last visit there was 13 years ago while my wife had visited 5 years ago so it was unlikely that we would visit again anytime soon. Didn't these guys get that we just wanted to play a free round of golf? However their offers have a complicated algorithm which factors in air fares when taking advantage of your time share but that would only start accruing after you had made payment of a certain percent of your time share………just to try and convince us!!

And that is how we found ourselves on the first tee of the Legends Golf Course at Orange Lake Resort at 7.00 am with hired “his and her” golf clubs $108.00 richer to play our first round of golf in America when daytime temperatures hit 35 degrees. The strict rule of thumb as we were informed by the starter is that once it starts to rain, get off the course as the rain storms as we discovered later that day are accompanied by thunder and lighting and the possibility of being struck are quite high. Thankfully we were done by 11.00 am well before the hottest part of the day………………..and the thunderstorms later that afternoon!

We managed to play another round of golf at Westover Golf Club in the greater Philadelphia area as we made our final visit in the States to see my brother in law, his dear wife and daughter but that is a story for another day.

We had accomplished our mission of playing golf together as a couple in the US and we loved it.



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