Do you love your nuts?

This post is intended for men only. It is a diatribe on manly, masculine stuff which is likely to raise the freckles on the pretty faces of sensitive ladies so ladies stop reading now or forever hold your peace!

"April is testicular cancer month" said the solemn sounding voice on the radio. "Finally something positive on radio other than politics" I thought to myself right before "Who comes up with these theme months anyway?"

The voice went on to appeal to men to self-check themselves for signs of testicular cancer while showering or just relaxing. "Just relaxing" I thought to myself, "Why has this voice decided to tell the whole world what we men do while just relaxing"?

Good grief is nothing ever sacrosanct in life anymore! What men chose to do or not to do in their spare relaxed time should be sacred to men. Now the secret is out for the women and children now know what we do when relaxed, we feel our nuts!!

I finally saw the info graphics about how to check for this killer condition in men going around on social media and everything swiftly fell into place! http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.M6f40b9e097e6920bd723ebb425dbd5e0o0&w=300&h=135&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0 (it's not this link though as I couldn't find it!!)

I am sure the thought has crossed the minds of many women why that peculiar habit arose from. It's from a feeling of relaxation and contentment something many men can clearly relate to but not our women folk who wonder why the urge to reach down there also known as the family jewels department came from.

We do not feel ourselves down there in the family jewels department just for the heck of it, and certainly not when stressed simply because there is no satisfaction with doing this when the body is in fight or flight mode. Unlike footballers who have to protect their nether regions when confronted with a whizzing goal bound ball which is a stressful situation as you can discern with their halfhearted attempts to ward of a nuts bound ball, the rest of us men thankfully don’t suffer from that occupational hazard.

The importance of this area can only be explained by the story of the suicide bomber out to blow himself up recently who was arrested before he could accomplish his dastardly mission only to be discovered to have been wearing a piece of metal around his private parts supposedly to protect himself from the effects of the explosion so as to enjoy his time with the virgins waiting for him in the hereafter!!

And now we men now have an even better excuse when called to account for our 'dirty' action of reaching unconsciously down there when in relaxation mode that you're checking for signs of testicular cancer! Thanks to the voice on the radio you have all the reason to continue what you have been doing through the ages with the added reason that you do it for love not wishing to consign your wife to widowhood when you all along had the tools to check for early signs of testicular cancer right in your hands…..literally!!

Have a meaningful and cancer free month my fellow men and feel on as you continue loving your nuts!

And for those ladies that yet again refused to heed to my warnings………..and I see you there in the corner chortling away, now you know but never ask your men what they are doing idling in the family jewels department!!