Would anyone care for a bomb!

I am an adult Kenyan male of sound mind (though some haters don't always agree) and a species known to be world renowned meat eaters. I must admit that I am not a top expert in all things ‘nyama choma’ for I am not one to waltz into a butchery asking for a kilo of the stuff or any of its derivatives. – chemsha, fry, tumbukiza etc washed dwon with my favorite tipple. But what in all that is good about meat eating is ‘bomb’?

'Bomb' you might ask.......has this guy gone and lost his damn mind? Let me explain.

It started off quite innocently with a question about what type of ready meat I could have for lunch. “Tuko na shoma, shemsha, fry na bomb” he answered “na inakuja na mukimo, chavashi ama ugali ………na kachubari ni discount” he added helpfully seeing the consternation on my face.

Perhaps it’s important to start from the beginning. It was lunch time, late lunch time would be more appropriate as the time was closer to 2.00 pm, not so long ago in Nyeri and I was off to one of my favorite joints for lunch a hotel located in the lower part of town owned by a friend and an easy six minute walk from the office through downtown Nyeri. This place has good food and a varied menu that includes Indian themed dishes and pasta. The only challenge is that the majority of the meals are prepared in the ala carte fashion presumably because there aren’t too many people interested in spaghetti bolognaise and mutton curry and the meals therefore take a minimum of 20 minutes from order to service.

Hunger pangs were biting due to the lateness of the hour and utmost in my mind was whether I’d survive the 20 minute wait for my food having settled on pork chops with roast potatoes as my meal of choice that day. Just before I got to the hotel I saw a nyama choma joint that I had passed by many times before without a second glance. Nothing spectacular I might add as nyama choma joints go since they all inevitably seem to have the same dull ambience, for lack of a better word, and designed by the same failed architect back in the day. My problems of a long wait at my hotel restaurant would be solved if this place had ready meat, I thought, as I changed direction instantly.

By the way is there is design code for Kenyan nyama choma joints, or a DIY manual where you choose from the two design options available? This one fit the bill perfectly that even blind folded and without having ever gone there any serious nyama choma aficionado would find his way around quite easily! So taking my cue (even clueless as I am I knew the layout instantly) I asked the owner-cum-cashier (nobody told me but that’s the script right!) whether they had ready meat for lunch to which he responded as I have indicated above. Nonplussed I ordered the tried and tested, country wide favorite ‘choma na ugali ‘with ‘kachumbari ya pilipili’ as my lunch time dish with an assurance that was soon proven right that I would be eating in a jiffy!

To say that I was dumbstruck would be to state the obvious so………………I was dumbstruck! What in all that is good about meat eating is ‘bomb’ I wondered to myself too afraid to ask even as I partook of my meal delicious as it was, except that the size of the ugali was a joke that would be laughed at by any self-respecting native of Western Kenya and Nyanza as not even qualifying to be called a snack! Maybe they meant ‘da bomb’ as a metaphor for the choice of the cut of meat that this dish came from or does it explode in your mouth with special flavors and tastes thus earning itself this awe inspiring name?

You see I have been around the block and then some and this was in the middle of nyama choma country where you don’t ask foolish questions about meat lest you be laughed out of town. How could someone who has been around the block more than once not know what ‘bomb’ was, was the question that I grappled with for some time even as a mopped up the last pieces of nyama choma with my kachumbari the ugali having been devoured half way through the meal (remember the size). This was the kind of ugali you thumbed your nose at and said ‘ata haijaiva wizuri’ even as you licked you lips wanting more but too proud unlike Oliver Twist to ask for more.

Belching on account of the cold coke that had helped wash down the meal (why do the last few bits of nyama choma always feel so dry……..or is that just me?) I finally got the guts to pose the question to the owner-cum-cashier as he bustled about to tell me what bomb was. I am still not sure what ‘bomb’ is because his long winded explanations in Kikuyu were as difficult to understand as they were foreign to me. Let me attempt to explain.......

The gist of his discourse was that this is a dish made from the stomach of a goat which had been stuffed with the meat from the neck and other internal organs of the animal. That meat had to have been boiled for 3 hours prior to stuffing. No explanation was given for this specific length of time. After stuffing the neck meat and the internal organ meat into the stomach, the whole concoction is then boiled in water in a pot over a wood fired stove so that the meat softened further and the stomach which is the wrapping also became palatable – haggis is what the Scots have called a derivative of such a dish. The resultant ensemble together with the soupy remains is your 'bomb'. As I nodded sagely to express the fact that there was finally clarity (I lied……mightily!) the reality was that I was more lost than ever!

I am not sure I’ll have the stomach (pun intended) to partake of 'bomb' because clearly it is a dish lacking both in nutritional value and taste. How can a dish that has been through two stages of boiling for close to five hours have any nutritional value left, while in the first place the main receptacle (aka the stomach) keeping all these other meats together has no nutritional value from the word go?

While the culinary skills of the Kikuyu people have been the laughing stock among many communities in the country………… and beyond, let me just say that 'bomb' does not inspire any confidence that this culinary preparation shall win a prize at any cooking competition except among my kith and kin any time soon!
On the other hand this could be that special Kikuyu signature dish that presented with a better sounding name and posher ingredients may drag the culinary skills of my people out of the laughing stock of kitchens and into the five star hotels of the world.

But don’t hold your breath!!

My amazing colleagues

My dear colleagues, you know yourselves and I never tire of telling you how great you all are individually and collectively so the sky is the limit and you know I will do everything within my powers to see that you suceed, because your success is also my success!! This blog post is dedicated to all of you for the great work you put in this past year.........
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Peals of laughter reached my ears in the office one morning. This in no way implies that we are generally a dour and sour lot at work buut this merriment was special and this was real excitement. Could it be a reaction to the recent make over in the office perhaps?

Curiosity got the better of me and I went to find out what the hullabaloo was all about. I should have guessed, it was excitement arising from the fact that one of the staff members had reported back to work after a short leave and her colleagues and friends had clearly missed her based on the hugs, kisses and general attention that she was getting. Not being one to spoil a party I joined in the general celebrations at her safe return but obviously in a more muted manner. With that safely out of the way I began thinking about my workmates in a new light. Were these the same disparate people that had moved to Nyeri a year back, unsure of what the future held for them in this strange and alien town away from the comfort zone of Nairobi?

A little introspection may help set the scene for this post. Nyeri branch has a staff complement of 13 including the Direct Sales Team members. Of the 13 staff members at present, we have 7 males and the rest are ladies. A majority of this great team have never worked outside Nairobi though one lady was transferred from a branch in Kisii, while the younger team members are fresh out of college and in their first real jobs. Five of us have banking experience spanning over 5 years and I am the elder of the team as was so cruelly pointed out at a corporate event we had sponsored when the Chairman of the club mentioned that I was the one who was inflating the average age of the staff members of the bank.......but I digress!!Different tribes are represented in this team though a majority are from the local community for obvious reasons. I think you now get a feel for those that I call my colleagues.

As mentioned, this was a new town to us in a territory and market that we knew little about. We needed to find homes fast, settle down and try to operate as a team while trying not to step on each others toes a tall order it would have seemed. I took it upon myself as the team leader with the most experience to foster a culture of trust and openess amongst us a task that is quite daunting when the younger members of staff see you as a father figure and therefore someone to be feared. To this brew add ingredients of independent mindedness, differences in opinions and disagreements galore and this cauldron boils frothing and bubbling feverishly!

With the patience of Solomon and having worked in branches where the majority of the staff were ladies (and I must clarify here that I am a father of girls and a caring, loving individual with no bias against ladies) I remained stoic in my resolve to nuture a team culture amongst us all.

Like any endeavor, you must work on it in small manageable bite size portions, encouraging, nurturing, congratulating, pestering, reminding and generally managing both in and out of the office. Out of the office sessions like a chance meeting,a team building session, a celebration of an achivement by one person, a lunch treat, a breakfast treat, a CSR function slowly breaks down any barriers that may be there and today I can proudly reveal that I have a superb team of committed, dedicated and focussed team members in Nyeri that has probably surprised many of our colleagues at other branches across the country.

The icing on the cake in my opinion was an offer by me to take photos of everyone at their work stations with my brand new camera a hobby that I took on recently (though still learning the ropes) as my new year gift to them, because does one really remember having a photo taken at their workstations? I now know who loves photos the most among this amazing group........and since some are probably going to read this blog go to the common folder and do the math!!

This team has been able to win two significant awards in the one year that we have been in business having completed the first anniversary on 17th January 2015. We won an award during an account opening campaign held last year for being the second best branch in accounts opened and recently winning another award for being the best new branch opened in the previous 12 months.

I can now see why the excitement was palpable and at full throttle when one of us resumed from leave recently. It was because we have become a close knit group working with a common purpose to fulfill common objectives. I know that all are committed to the overall success of the branch and each knows that they bring their own unique flavor to the table when we open for business daily. A missing flavor therefore dulls the tastiness of the dish so when that flavor is available it makes the end result all the better. The latest award came with a cash prize and there has been heated debate what we do with the money.....with consensus seeming to go with having a party and spoiling ourselves silly!

The younger members of staff no longer sidle past me as if I am afflicted with a contagious disease but greet me as a friend. I know that their confidence levels have increased because a healthy workplace where your colleagues know that you have their backs and an open door policy will always elicit the best from them.

This year we shall take the branch to the next dizzying level of business and profitability so hang on tight folks lest you get blown away in the ensuing dust storm!!

Loan facility takeover and the things to be aware of:

A Happy New Year to you. As we commence the year 2015, I shall depart from my usual social commentary blog article and instead focus on an educational blog that some of you may have encountered or may encounter so long as you are a bank client and borrower.

So you have an offer for takeover of loan facilities from another bank? Loan facilities being taken over by another bank for whatever reasons are a usual occurrence in the banking sector as well as being some of the most stressful situations that a borrower can face because of various reasons which I shall go into shortly. Often this process is very misunderstood by the parties concerned and accusations and counter accusations fly between the borrowing parties and the respective banks and advocates for one reason or another.

Firstly, the very fact that another bank has agreed to take over your facilities is a very positive thing because it is an assurance that after the takeover bank has done its due diligence on you whether you are a personal (retail) borrower or a business (SME or corporate) borrower it has found nothing untoward on you and your business and is comfortable with your credit standing and ability to repay the facilities on the terms that it is offering to you. Never forget also that a bank is a business that wants to safeguard its income and assets hence should you wish to move your facilities to another bank simply because you are not servicing the facilities or they are in arrears, the bank will find out this information in its own way and not decline a takeoverof your facilities. Reasons for takeover are many and vary from being unhappy with the interest rate and charges being charged and levied by the current institution, irreconcilable differences with your current bankers, additional facilities that your current bank is unable to offer to you or your business etc.

Secondly, once you have accepted the letter of offer and returned it to the takeover bank alongside any other documents that have been requested for, the process of takeover of the loan facility commences. If the collateral that you have pledged for the facility is the same one that has been pledged elsewhere then the takeover bank needs to prepare a letter of undertaking in a format agreed with the existing bank from where the facilities are being taken over specifically mentioning the amount due on the respective facility as at a specific date with interest continuing to accrue thereafter until payment is made in full, the release of the securities/titles deeds etc to a named advocate for purposes of preparing a charge document in favor of the new bank and registering the same together with a discharge of charge against which the undertaking promises to make payment to the existing bank.

At this point in time there are several parties involved in the transaction as follows:

1. The borrower.
2. The existing bank - from which facilities are being taken over.
3. The takeover bank - who will be taking over the facilities.
4. Advocates for the existing bank - to handle the preparation of the discharge of charge.
5. Advocates for the takeover bank - to prepare the letter of undertaking and then prepare a charge to be simultaneously registered together with the discharge of charge.
6. Various government departments like the Dept of Lands, Registrar of Companies (for company borrowers), Collector of stamp duty, Government Valuers (for transactions involving purchase of property), Land Board etc as necessary given the type of land and the specific rules applicable.

All the processes have no defined timelines for conclusion particularly where the government departments are involved and depend greatly on the efficiency of the various players within the process and to a lesser degree whether applicable land rates and taxes are upto date, whether the file for the parcel is available at the respective Land registry, whether the company file is available at the Companies Registry and recently an even stranger one………..…..if the franking machine to affix stamp duty is working!!

The completion period could be anything between 30 days to 90 days and beyond and this is the point where all things seem to fall apart because there appears to be no appreciable progress being made in the eyes of the most vulnerable party in this whole transaction, the borrower. It is also at this point that the existing bank reminds the borrower of the need to continue servicing the loan instalments until take over has been completed.

For business accounts, the possibility of complete disruption to your business cash flow is a real threat where the takeover bank declines to avail some facilities to you while the existing bank has suspended your facilities during the transition period meaning you are not able to access any credit lines previously negotiated with them. Some banks as a policy go to the extraordinary lengths of refusing to release your securities and title deeds forcing you to instead renegotiate with them to provide the facilities that were being offered by the takeover bank at similar or better interest rates.

Many borrowers seem to believe and understand that a letter of undertaking to takeover facilities automatically means a suspension of interest and future monthly instalments due on the facility by the existing bankers and this could not be further from the truth. In any case the need to repay your facilities is embedded within the letter of offer/loan agreement that you have signed with your existing bank and nowhere within that agreement does it state that repayment of interest and principal shall be suspended if you choose to transfer your facilities to another institution.

Similarly, the letter of undertaking talks of the takeover bank undertaking to pay an amount ‘x’ due on a facility as at a defined date to the existing bank with interest due on any unpaid balance after the defined date. A prudent borrower would therefore continue to service their monthly repayments within the transition period because in any case the surplus amount paid to the takeover bank will either reduce the facility amount negotiated with them or be reflected as a credit balance on the applicable transaction account linked to that facility.

If you have other securities that you may pledge to the bank then this allows you some leeway as you can continue with current arrangements with your existing bankers who shall be blissfully unaware of your transition to another bank for some time thus ensuring your business continuity without heart burn and head ache.

The penalty for not meeting your monthly obligations include continual follow up action by the existing bank and being listed on the Credit Reference Bureau as a defaulter as banks are obligated to report non-performing loans, notwithstanding the fact that the loan is due for takeover by another institution and is in the transition stage, to the CRB after a specified period.

So even as a bank dangles a good discount to you to move your facilities lock, stock and barrel to them be aware of the possible delays that may cause you sleepless nights, irreparable damage to your business cash flow and general aggravation. You must always ask the bank if they have a policy of allowing access to part of the facilities within the takeover period so that your business can continue to function.

to be forewarned is to be forearmed!!

Of tragedies and the conundrum of death:

With all the hullabaloo that surrounds us when someone important passes on, we must realise that we are all destined to die one day and since we have no clue when that is going to be, we must live a virtuous and humble life and except that when God sounds the final whistle to end your earthly life you shall transition to a celestial one with trumpets blaring in heaven or bellows stoking the flames of hell depending on how you lived while on God’s green earth.

I often get very unsettled (like many others I am sure) when I see pictures of young infants on the obituaries pages of the daily newspapers. I think to myself that life is very unfair and babies should not be part of God’s harvest for those entering his eternal kingdom. Picture this…………………….!!

I was distraught and devastated in equal measure. It was two or so years ago and I had received the sad news of the passing away of two people, one of whom was an elder in our community and well known to me while the other was an infant whom I do not know. Both are no more, the cruel hand of death having plucked them from us in quick succession.

The infant was a mere six months old. Her mother had passed on when she was three days old and the parental responsibility fell on the shoulders of her mother’s elder sister, who has been taking foster care of the baby alongside her own two girls. The baby, as I was informed, choked on something or the other and they were unable to revive her after she lost consciousness and passed on.

The old man was a paragon of humility and simplicity and a great friend to my father. I am not even sure that I have known him to be sick for most of the 80 plus years that he had been around. He lived a full life having been a re-known engineer in public service for many years and then retiring to be a farmer in Nairobi and Kinangop. This is someone you would find amid the Kiambu, Gatundu and Limuru farmers early on a cold morning lining up with his pickup to collect ‘machicha’ for his cows at the Kenya Breweries depot or upto his ankles in a steam pumping water into his bowser to water his cows when there was a water shortage or even hard at work digging on his farm either with a hoe or with his plough and tractor.

On Sundays you would find him walking the 5 kilometers from home to church and back smartly dressed and with his daily missal under his arm no doubt as part of his exercise regimen and he would politely decline a lift from anyone who felt inclined to offer him one. He fell ill suddenly while at his farm at Kinangop, his daughters on hearing of the news rushed to collect him at night and bring him to a Nairobi hospital where it was decided that he required emergency surgery for a raptured esophagus which he never recovered from and passed on 3 days later.

The question is this, an infant still a baby and an old man who has lived a full life, which life is more precious?

That is probably a very unfair question considering that all life is precious to someone but the point is that death can come calling at any time and without warning. The old man had been hale and hearty as you please for many years, able to carry on with his life and farming duties while many of his peers and friends had been bed ridden in their homes and hospitals some often suffering from harsh debilitating illnesses like Alzheimer’s many often confined to wheelchairs.

The baby on the other hand had been thrust into this harsh world, her birth mother passing on a few days after her birth possibly as a result of complications arising from the child birth process. The baby died less than a year later, a potential president, engineer and doctor in waiting whom we shall never know her young dreams, aspirations and hopes unfulfilled her life journey cut brutally short when the Grim Reaper came calling.

While both deaths left a lot of unanswered questions in the minds of their respective families I can imagine that the helplessness of the foster parents of the baby who died was more acute given that the baby still in its infancy, had no inkling of what death is all about and that she died from a chocking accident all the more disquieting.

I however have no answers!!