If you thought that games were only for children, then think again because many of our politicians and quasi-politicians are very adept at games. Here is a sample of some that they play.
Russian Roulette is a very dangerous game. The game involves emptying a revolver of all it bullets and then inserting just one bullet in the chamber and then spinning the chamber so that when you are playing the game you have no idea where the bullet is in the chamber. After this one by one the players point the gun at their heads, cock it and pull the trigger. Suffice is to say that so long as you hear the click of the trigger on an empty chamber you are still in the game but the minute you hear a deafening roar (if you do), it is almost certainly the last thing you will hear as you dispatch yourself to your maker. It is such a dangerous game that it is only those with a death wish who play the game. Yet it is precisely this game that the members of the Kenyan Cabinet have been playing for many years. As scandal after scandal plagues this coalition government, sooner or later in this deadly Russian roulette that they have continued to play some one will be its next victim. It very early on claimed several victims like Christopher Murungaru, Kiraitu Murungi, David Mwiraria, Moses Wetangula, Mutula Kilonzo and It is also threatening to claim others as the countdown to the next election continues.
Another game is ‘mchongowano’. It has been a perennial political game for eons. It involves looking for a gathering of people (any gathering will do thank you) a church service, a nursery school graduation, the opening of a coffee factory, while protesting to the local OCS about a crime on your constituents - and then proceeding to tell them how your political enemies were born by the side of the road OR how some people are uncircumcised and therefore cannot lead the rest of us OR how some people should learn to appreciate gods gifts to us and should therefore eat anything and everything instead of complaining that the government is not able to feed them.
This game is almost similar to another called ‘hapo zamani za kale’ where all current evils are blamed on an ogre called KANU that ruled ‘hapo zamani za kale’ OR where all tribulation of professors (may god rest their souls in peace) are blamed on the people who killed Robert being the same ones who poisoned me ‘hapo zamani za kale’ etc, etc.
Other games are ‘it wasn’t me’ where when caught in a compromising position, sometimes with pants down (literally), one proceeds to deny vehemently even if the evidence is cast in stone and with a bouncing something or another to prove it.
The newest of the games is “me too”. This one is often played out about 12 months before an election date and involves addressing a crowd preferably in your native constituency, pouring scorn and vitriol on the current leadership and presidency and then declaring yourself as a potential presidential/parliamentary/governor/senator candidate able to change the lives of those (foolhardy!) enough to vote you in
Another variation is to be anointed as a presidential hopeful by a tribal council while half dressed in some animal skins or robes or by a religious grouping among a crowd of people who have no idea who you are having similarly been anointed by other tribal councils and religious groupings in the past so as to take care of their interests when elected. At the rate that this game is being played out, to quote a popular Americanism “They all want to be chiefs so where are the Indians?”
Other games are played by quasi-politicos such as the Government Spokesman that very often involve taking careful aim with a loaded gun and then shooting at your foot. While the results may not always be tragic, they are often messy and painful and there is always a thorough clean up thereafter. This game is called for obvious reasons ‘shoot self in foot’.
Another favourite game is “foot in mouth” which is often played preferably by a quasi-politico masquerading as a trade unionist or by whole cabinet ministers. It involves, taking your own size 13 foot, boots and all, and then proceeding to very deliberately open your size 7 mouth and then stuff foot into mouth. The dexterity involved here is astonishing, but those who are able to accomplish this feat (pun intended) invariably have shortness of breath and are inexplicably and chronically sufferers as they continually repeat the game and to hell with the consequences!!
While games are supposed to be a source of enjoyment and fun, the games our politicians play ceased to be funny a long time ago. Some are downright dangerous while others only seem to show the depth of “anti-intelligence” that our politicians have.
No wonder we are the laughing stock of our East African neighbours who maintain that in Kenya we sleep politics, eat politics and breathe politics 24-7-365.
My kids can only play some of these games over my dead body as they insult the intelligence of the common mwananchi and the world at large.
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