My wife is perennially getting cheesed of when her apparently simple instructions to the house help or gardener are not carried out to her satisfaction. What is so difficult with cleaning windows, sweeping under the bed, folding clothes, arranging the pantry she constantly wonders? What is so difficult with measuring out the salt that you put in the food, in using the condiments that she spends a fortune on in cooking, in using the fabric softener when doing the laundry, in correctly ironing the clothes after they are dry or even in knowing when to change the bed sheets she fumes?
Imagine for a moment that there was a shortage of trained lab technicians. Being a senior scientist, you naturally do not want to get your hands dirty on mundane things so that you may focus on the strategic technical and scientific developments that you are highly trained to do. So what do you do since you want someone to do the spade work for you carrying and arranging the pipettes, Bunsen burners, droppers, evaporating dishes, petri dishes, microscopes, beakers, flat bottomed and round bottomed flasks and whatnots and mixing chemicals and gases in exact proportions and at specific temperatures as well as taking due care and ensuring that all the safety issues associated with a laboratory that will make it remain a safe environment to work in are taken care of. You obviously look for someone to do what you expect them to do and with a modicum of intelligence that means that you will instruct them once and given their own skills and technical knowledge including the relativity table they should be able to carry out that task effortlessly and leave you to the difficult job of scientific development.
But I had mentioned that there was a shortage of these trained lab techs so what next? Naturally being a busy man you spread the word that you are looking for someone with certain skills and expertise to assist you in your work and voila someone who knows someone’s cousin is looking for a job tells you that they can get someone for you. After a few harried and testy questions (remember you are a busy man) you hire yourself a lab technician. Being the busy man that you are, the business of vetting and obtaining references and recommendations takes a back seat and you get to work.
Despite being busy, for the first few days you are patient with your new found lab tech and he seems to be catching up always eager to ask questions and understand your methodologies and is mixing chemicals in the right proportions and concentrations and arranging for you the required equipment with few if any mistakes. However you will never know that when left alone and unsupervised that lab tech you hired is a klutz of the worst kind, unschooled and unaware of the most basic of safety rules while in a laboratory and worse still prone to periods of myopia when he is nursing a hangover and therefore a danger not only to himself but to other around him.........until something dramatic, fatal or injurious to property or life happens!!
That my friends and senior scientists is how we hire those that we entrust with our children and our most prized possessions in our homes to cook for us and wash for us and wash up after us. We are patient with them the first few days as they get to learn the ropes but leave them to their own designs thereafter and complain when they get it wrong or do not live up to the mark. We forget that we are dealing with an ill-trained human being desperate to get a job and willing to try anything to get a salary at the end of the month even if it means lying to us. We forget that we need to vet these people and take references and do our homework to ensure that what they profess to be proficient in is actually backed up with a reference somewhere. We end up hiring drunks, rapists, thieves and assorted dregs of society simply because we are too busy to take time and do what is necessary to ensure that safety issues are well demonstrated and a semblance of common sense is apparent in those that we hire. Many of the expensive gadgets that we have in our homes are also alien to them and unless they are trained in how to use them they will just remain just that, expensive gadgets instead of the time saving conveniences the manufacturer intended!
So when in a moment of inattention you give your gardener clear instructions to bring you the three newspapers or when you tell him to wash up an oil spill in your garage until it is as clean as the rest of the garage floor, don’t be surprised when he brings you three Daily Nations (as happened to a friend recently and with all due respect to him) or he gets some acid from god knows where and then proceeds to almost burn a hole in the garage floor in his efforts to ensure that he fulfills your instructions don’t get upset.
Instead empathize with them!
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
Monday, 10 March 2014
Could ‘alcoblow’ be an additional taxation measure?
The message server on my phone beeped early Sunday morning. It was a message from one of my friends which began rather cryptically, “Just had me first meal courtesy of GOK at Muthaiga!”
What the hell! My friend in his usual laid back manner was reporting that he had been busted the previous night at Sarit Centre in Nairobi by the ‘alcoblow’ cops for driving under the influence (DUI) while over the legal limit of 0.35 units (of god knows what and this measure changes with whoever has been a victim) and had spent the night in the lock up at Muthaiga Police Station with a motley of similar men and women in varying degrees of inebriation and they would get their date in court the next Monday.
These are difficult times for all of us and the fact that the 0.35 units has not been defined in a measure that we can all understand (such as two bottles of Tusker or three bottles of malt lager or a double whiskey on the rocks or two glasses of dry red wine or even a large serving of fermented porridge) means that all who partake of alcohol are losers from the word go simply because they have no way of knowing if they are over the legal limit while indulging in their favorite tipple……………or porridge! Surely there must be a way that this measure of 0.35 units can be defined so that the poor driver out there is not scared stiff after partaking of one Tusker with a friend as he waits for the notorious Nairobi traffic to thin out before heading home? Surely………………!
I have my serious misgiving about how the authorities are going about this drink driving business but I do not question the intent behind ‘alcoblow’ as it is very noble and has reportedly resulted in a significant reduction in accidents caused by drunk driving. I personally think that the implementation has been done in an overly enthusiastic and sadistic manner and is open to abuse by the NTSA which seems to be the body mandated to ensure that drunk drivers are kept of Kenyan roads at whatever cost. How else but sadistic would you describe having “random” road blocks/testing points outside some of the most well frequented pubs in middle class Nairobi where you are bound to score by nabbing a whole bar load of drunks?
The application of this ‘alcoblow’ testing from where I sit seems to be skewed and, particularly in Nairobi, seems centred around the more affluent areas of the city and on the highways into and out of the city. Imbibers of the frothy stuff and other more expensive single malt whiskies, cognacs, aperitifs and assorted expensive liqueurs will easily afford the ‘alcoblow’ fines would seem to be the conventional thinking. This to me is also informed by the fact that those caught driving under the influence in Nairobi are incarcerated at Muthaiga Police Station with some of the more comfortable (or so I am told) police cells in Nairobi at present wherever in the city one is arrested!
So is this ‘alcoblow’ thing then a ploy to generate more revenue by way of fines for a government burdened with an insanely huge wage bill that saw the entire cabinet a week ago agree to a pay cut and other government expenditures occasioned by devolution? I would tend to think so given the enthusiasm and the tenacity of the authorities to rein in the time honored Kenyan pastime of over indulgence in alcohol including naming and shaming through expensive newspaper adverts those who did not appear in court to answer to charges of driving while under the influence as well as now setting up their sting operations even during the day.
What the hell! My friend in his usual laid back manner was reporting that he had been busted the previous night at Sarit Centre in Nairobi by the ‘alcoblow’ cops for driving under the influence (DUI) while over the legal limit of 0.35 units (of god knows what and this measure changes with whoever has been a victim) and had spent the night in the lock up at Muthaiga Police Station with a motley of similar men and women in varying degrees of inebriation and they would get their date in court the next Monday.
These are difficult times for all of us and the fact that the 0.35 units has not been defined in a measure that we can all understand (such as two bottles of Tusker or three bottles of malt lager or a double whiskey on the rocks or two glasses of dry red wine or even a large serving of fermented porridge) means that all who partake of alcohol are losers from the word go simply because they have no way of knowing if they are over the legal limit while indulging in their favorite tipple……………or porridge! Surely there must be a way that this measure of 0.35 units can be defined so that the poor driver out there is not scared stiff after partaking of one Tusker with a friend as he waits for the notorious Nairobi traffic to thin out before heading home? Surely………………!
I have my serious misgiving about how the authorities are going about this drink driving business but I do not question the intent behind ‘alcoblow’ as it is very noble and has reportedly resulted in a significant reduction in accidents caused by drunk driving. I personally think that the implementation has been done in an overly enthusiastic and sadistic manner and is open to abuse by the NTSA which seems to be the body mandated to ensure that drunk drivers are kept of Kenyan roads at whatever cost. How else but sadistic would you describe having “random” road blocks/testing points outside some of the most well frequented pubs in middle class Nairobi where you are bound to score by nabbing a whole bar load of drunks?
The application of this ‘alcoblow’ testing from where I sit seems to be skewed and, particularly in Nairobi, seems centred around the more affluent areas of the city and on the highways into and out of the city. Imbibers of the frothy stuff and other more expensive single malt whiskies, cognacs, aperitifs and assorted expensive liqueurs will easily afford the ‘alcoblow’ fines would seem to be the conventional thinking. This to me is also informed by the fact that those caught driving under the influence in Nairobi are incarcerated at Muthaiga Police Station with some of the more comfortable (or so I am told) police cells in Nairobi at present wherever in the city one is arrested!
So is this ‘alcoblow’ thing then a ploy to generate more revenue by way of fines for a government burdened with an insanely huge wage bill that saw the entire cabinet a week ago agree to a pay cut and other government expenditures occasioned by devolution? I would tend to think so given the enthusiasm and the tenacity of the authorities to rein in the time honored Kenyan pastime of over indulgence in alcohol including naming and shaming through expensive newspaper adverts those who did not appear in court to answer to charges of driving while under the influence as well as now setting up their sting operations even during the day.
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
The boob encounter as the hunt continues
The hunt for a suitable suitor in Nanyuki continues. I have been searching for many months possibly a few years and have not found anything suitable. I have seen some tall ones and some short ones, some small ones and some big ones. I have seen them in the morning as the sun is rising and at dusk when the sun is setting. I have seen them silhouetted against the great mountain and as their shadows stretch out into the plains.
I have seen them dirty and unkempt waiting for someone to give them a make-over and I have been there when they change their make-up. I have once got in through the back door but mostly through the front door. But pray stop ogling and get your head out of the gutter because I am talking about the hunt ………………………………………for a suitable space for a branch of the bank!!
On another note, where is one supposed to look when a lady starts breastfeeding her crying baby in your office as you are giving her details of how to apply for a vehicle loan and what interest rates you are paying on fixed deposits? No kidding, it happened to me earlier today and being in Nyeri I dared not complain lest I get the ‘kichapo ya mbwa’ that Nyeri women are famous for. Do you look at her, at the baby, at the boob or elsewhere?
The problem really is that so long as you are looking at her or at the baby she thinks you are looking at her boob. And if you look at the boob she will know you are looking at the boob. If you look away she will wonder why you are not looking at the boob so you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. In retrospect, she probably and urgently needed the privacy of my office to whip out her mammaries to feed her baby which I guess is pretty much with the same sense of urgency as someone with diarrhea looking for a loo when the urge to go comes and knowing that you have precious little time before the s*** embarrasses you in public! The milk production in lactating mothers (or so I hear) is often similarly triggered by the baby’s hunger cry so what better place to breastfeed than the Bank Manager’s office before the milk gushes out!
You are probably wondering where I looked because after all this was a business opportunity and as she pushed her boob back into place the hungry baby somewhat satiated and she seemingly satisfied with my answers to her questions (possibly just relief that the embarrassing moment had been averted), I had been busy writing down what we required for her to qualify for a loan as well as other useless information that was not really necessary but which I nonetheless wrote down! So if you thought I was looking at her boob I took the easy way out by writing down what I would have ideally have been telling her verbatim just to keep my hands and eyes busy and to afford a potential client a bit of privacy.
So next time you are faced with a boob wielding lady in your office be it in Nyeri or wherever else you will now know what to do. Just pretend that you have a sudden urge to write a long love letter to someone!
I have seen them dirty and unkempt waiting for someone to give them a make-over and I have been there when they change their make-up. I have once got in through the back door but mostly through the front door. But pray stop ogling and get your head out of the gutter because I am talking about the hunt ………………………………………for a suitable space for a branch of the bank!!
On another note, where is one supposed to look when a lady starts breastfeeding her crying baby in your office as you are giving her details of how to apply for a vehicle loan and what interest rates you are paying on fixed deposits? No kidding, it happened to me earlier today and being in Nyeri I dared not complain lest I get the ‘kichapo ya mbwa’ that Nyeri women are famous for. Do you look at her, at the baby, at the boob or elsewhere?
The problem really is that so long as you are looking at her or at the baby she thinks you are looking at her boob. And if you look at the boob she will know you are looking at the boob. If you look away she will wonder why you are not looking at the boob so you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. In retrospect, she probably and urgently needed the privacy of my office to whip out her mammaries to feed her baby which I guess is pretty much with the same sense of urgency as someone with diarrhea looking for a loo when the urge to go comes and knowing that you have precious little time before the s*** embarrasses you in public! The milk production in lactating mothers (or so I hear) is often similarly triggered by the baby’s hunger cry so what better place to breastfeed than the Bank Manager’s office before the milk gushes out!
You are probably wondering where I looked because after all this was a business opportunity and as she pushed her boob back into place the hungry baby somewhat satiated and she seemingly satisfied with my answers to her questions (possibly just relief that the embarrassing moment had been averted), I had been busy writing down what we required for her to qualify for a loan as well as other useless information that was not really necessary but which I nonetheless wrote down! So if you thought I was looking at her boob I took the easy way out by writing down what I would have ideally have been telling her verbatim just to keep my hands and eyes busy and to afford a potential client a bit of privacy.
So next time you are faced with a boob wielding lady in your office be it in Nyeri or wherever else you will now know what to do. Just pretend that you have a sudden urge to write a long love letter to someone!
Monday, 24 February 2014
The fate of the early riser:
I usually set off from Nairobi for Nyeri before the light of day has manifested itself even an iota when only mad dogs, thugs and the matatu crew…….and off course yours truly and a few other hardy souls are the only ones astir. But I have noticed that while I am going against the flow of traffic i.e Thika bound the Nairobi bound side of the super highway has heavy traffic flow, a moving wall of headlights upon headlights not standing still caught up in a traffic jam but in an unbroken line of traffic. Could it be that these are the clever ones out to beat the Nairobi traffic or is it the opposite?
I truly do not miss Nairobi’s madhouse and world class traffic jam one bit something that I will continue rubbing into the raw wounds of my Nairobi brethren until the cows come home to roost! Or have I just mixed up my metaphors? It takes me 2 hours to drive the 160 kilometers to Nyeri on a Monday morning and it would probably take longer for someone from Ongata Rongai or Kitengela to get to Nairobi on a Monday morning a mere 24 kilometers or so away.
Coupled with the scenic drive, the quiet of the car and my own thoughts, it seems more like an hour’s drive. I can’t however help noticing the number of school children walking to school along the road in groups or in singles many of them thumbing rides from passing motorists between Makutano and Sagana town. Are they all really school children or could they be thugs dressed up in school uniform looking to ambush the unwary Samaritan who may stop to give one a ride to their school and find out that they intended to get a ride to somewhere else when a gun is pulled on them? Some of them certainly look older than someone of school going age but I digress! But why only in this section of the Nairobi to Nyeri highway (or what would it be called?) are there so many school children at that time of the morning seeing that it is just getting to 7.00 am? Don’t other children from other areas not go to school as well or is it that my journey coincides with when the kids on this stretch of the road are all enroute to school?
That aside, why do people stop to pick up school kids and give them a lift whether in school uniform or not? Do you know just how much trouble you could find yourself in if the last vehicle that that child was seen boarding was yours and then something happened to that child either on the way or after you dropped them off at their destination? This may seem callous and self-centered but you better give an adult a lift and leave the child to walk to wherever they are going. That is my unsolicited advice because you will have no defense if anything happened to that child because good faith or not that is a minor and you are going to be held solely responsible if anything were to happen to them while in your custody.
Now where was I? Oh yes, sometimes the great mountain is not shy and as the sun rises she peaks out in all her glory her misty outline silhouetted against the rays of the rising sun and visible from miles away gradually taking a more distinct shape the closer you get to her and that is a definite bonus to us early risers as we are shepherded into Nyeri two hours later by her majestic snowcapped peaks.
In case you were wondering why I don’t leave for Nyeri the previous evening, wonder no more for that is the reason I prefer travelling in the early morning just to catch a possible glimpse of Mt. Kenya’s peaks as I make my way to work.
I truly do not miss Nairobi’s madhouse and world class traffic jam one bit something that I will continue rubbing into the raw wounds of my Nairobi brethren until the cows come home to roost! Or have I just mixed up my metaphors? It takes me 2 hours to drive the 160 kilometers to Nyeri on a Monday morning and it would probably take longer for someone from Ongata Rongai or Kitengela to get to Nairobi on a Monday morning a mere 24 kilometers or so away.
Coupled with the scenic drive, the quiet of the car and my own thoughts, it seems more like an hour’s drive. I can’t however help noticing the number of school children walking to school along the road in groups or in singles many of them thumbing rides from passing motorists between Makutano and Sagana town. Are they all really school children or could they be thugs dressed up in school uniform looking to ambush the unwary Samaritan who may stop to give one a ride to their school and find out that they intended to get a ride to somewhere else when a gun is pulled on them? Some of them certainly look older than someone of school going age but I digress! But why only in this section of the Nairobi to Nyeri highway (or what would it be called?) are there so many school children at that time of the morning seeing that it is just getting to 7.00 am? Don’t other children from other areas not go to school as well or is it that my journey coincides with when the kids on this stretch of the road are all enroute to school?
That aside, why do people stop to pick up school kids and give them a lift whether in school uniform or not? Do you know just how much trouble you could find yourself in if the last vehicle that that child was seen boarding was yours and then something happened to that child either on the way or after you dropped them off at their destination? This may seem callous and self-centered but you better give an adult a lift and leave the child to walk to wherever they are going. That is my unsolicited advice because you will have no defense if anything happened to that child because good faith or not that is a minor and you are going to be held solely responsible if anything were to happen to them while in your custody.
Now where was I? Oh yes, sometimes the great mountain is not shy and as the sun rises she peaks out in all her glory her misty outline silhouetted against the rays of the rising sun and visible from miles away gradually taking a more distinct shape the closer you get to her and that is a definite bonus to us early risers as we are shepherded into Nyeri two hours later by her majestic snowcapped peaks.
In case you were wondering why I don’t leave for Nyeri the previous evening, wonder no more for that is the reason I prefer travelling in the early morning just to catch a possible glimpse of Mt. Kenya’s peaks as I make my way to work.
Friday, 21 February 2014
Sawdust scatter and other musings of an immigrant:
In Nyeri it rained on Monday and on Tuesday and drizzled a little on Wednesday. The thick cloying dust has now settled but with the rains comes the mud, the puddles (thanks to the woebegone state of the roads in the interior of the town) and the cold. Everywhere you turn it is muddy swathes of tarmac where people have tried to scrape of their muddy shoes only resulting in no discernible differences between the road and the unpaved road shoulder. This is what must be happening in hundreds of towns across Kenya unfortunate enough to boast slivers of tarmac lined with muddy unpaved footpaths!
Call me daft if you want that it has taken me this long to find this out and I will just say Duuuhh! After all I was born and brought up in the city and it is only now that I have taken the plunge to reside in small town Kenya that I am realizing that the dirty sawdust on the floor on visits to my grandfather’s restaurant actually had a practical purpose!
Since the onset of the rains (weatherman says it a passing cloud though) everyone who walks into the bank treks in with some mud on their shoes and then proceeds to deposit half of it in the bank probably enough at the end of the day for a kitchen garden, quality herbs and all, try as they might to scrape it off before they enter the door. This goes for staff as well and so the poor cleaning lady is constantly mopping up muddy shoe prints or sweeping dried muddy detritus off the floor.
Many establishments, restaurants, butcheries, supermarkets, MPesa shops, barber shops etc have chosen to have a heap of saw dust at the entrance to their shops sometimes even scattered on the floor itself. While I have seen this many times over the years, I have never really stopped to think why. That stuff is actually very healthy. Through many rainy seasons and years of muddy shoes, not many people stop to even scrape of some of the excess mud off their shoes as they enter into an establishment. They just saunter in oblivious to the muck and the mud they shall drag into your shop!
Sawdust sprinkled on the floor or at the entrance to a shop is an absorbent that removes dirt and dust from the floor while also absorbing any liquids that may have spilt as well common with mushy mud tracked in on your shoes. To me it also seems to keep the dust levels in the establishment down after mixing in with the sawdust because you can imagine what effect dried mud would have on the dust levels in a shop or restaurant. After the day is done, then you just sweep it up together with all the other detritus throw it out and lay on another layer tomorrow. Perhaps well-constructed pavements and better repaired roads would remove the need for this sawdust scatter something you never see in Nairobi but perhaps happens in the outlying suburbs.
How healthy the practice is I shall not even dare to conjecture because it serves a practical useful purpose in addition to ensuring that not an iota of a precious tree goes to waste.
So for those city slickers like me that never knew why you found dirty sawdust on the floor when you visited your village shop back in the day (or upto today) thinking that everyone was a slob, now you know.
As for those who knew the reasons why, your medal is on the way!!
Call me daft if you want that it has taken me this long to find this out and I will just say Duuuhh! After all I was born and brought up in the city and it is only now that I have taken the plunge to reside in small town Kenya that I am realizing that the dirty sawdust on the floor on visits to my grandfather’s restaurant actually had a practical purpose!
Since the onset of the rains (weatherman says it a passing cloud though) everyone who walks into the bank treks in with some mud on their shoes and then proceeds to deposit half of it in the bank probably enough at the end of the day for a kitchen garden, quality herbs and all, try as they might to scrape it off before they enter the door. This goes for staff as well and so the poor cleaning lady is constantly mopping up muddy shoe prints or sweeping dried muddy detritus off the floor.
Many establishments, restaurants, butcheries, supermarkets, MPesa shops, barber shops etc have chosen to have a heap of saw dust at the entrance to their shops sometimes even scattered on the floor itself. While I have seen this many times over the years, I have never really stopped to think why. That stuff is actually very healthy. Through many rainy seasons and years of muddy shoes, not many people stop to even scrape of some of the excess mud off their shoes as they enter into an establishment. They just saunter in oblivious to the muck and the mud they shall drag into your shop!
Sawdust sprinkled on the floor or at the entrance to a shop is an absorbent that removes dirt and dust from the floor while also absorbing any liquids that may have spilt as well common with mushy mud tracked in on your shoes. To me it also seems to keep the dust levels in the establishment down after mixing in with the sawdust because you can imagine what effect dried mud would have on the dust levels in a shop or restaurant. After the day is done, then you just sweep it up together with all the other detritus throw it out and lay on another layer tomorrow. Perhaps well-constructed pavements and better repaired roads would remove the need for this sawdust scatter something you never see in Nairobi but perhaps happens in the outlying suburbs.
How healthy the practice is I shall not even dare to conjecture because it serves a practical useful purpose in addition to ensuring that not an iota of a precious tree goes to waste.
So for those city slickers like me that never knew why you found dirty sawdust on the floor when you visited your village shop back in the day (or upto today) thinking that everyone was a slob, now you know.
As for those who knew the reasons why, your medal is on the way!!
Monday, 10 February 2014
Musings of an immigrant:
I couldn’t get a Sprite either in 1.5 or 2 litres. One of my favorite exotic flavor juices Red Guava was also not available. Did they have it in stock? They had never heard of Red Guava and had never stocked it but we have Passion, Orange, Pineapple, Red Berry and other variants of these in mixed flavors was the helpful response. What of curry peas, my favorite finger snack? Did they have that in stock…..ever? What is that I was asked but we have “njugu karanga” I was told. The office needed a foot scrapper and door mats where could these be found as they were not in stock? Blank stares met me obviously communicating that they had no idea what the hell I was talking about!!
This was a rude awakening since these are things that I have always taken for granted while shopping in Nairobi but which in Nyeri seem to be exotic, alien products probably since the suppliers do not wish to have dead stock on the shelves so choose to supply only their most popular flavors guaranteed to fly off the shelves. But don’t get me wrong! These products may be available somewhere around but I have not found them yet. The reality of small town Kenya is now sinking in and it involves decisions such as where to eat, where to get a haircut and a carwash or even a decent pub.
Nairobi spoils one for choice given that there a myriad of options to choose from on one street alone. In Nyeri a barber's shop is bound to be one of those River Road look alike places where we were taken by my father back in the day for a crew cut by Kinyanjui in a setting comprising those old comfortable barber chairs with poorly drawn characters on the wall depicting the various haircut and beard shave styles or a place squeezed in between an MPesa outlet and a restaurant almost as if it were an afterthought by the landlord where a poorly designed barber’s chair is located in an environment where three people present threatens to cause a riot all for the princely sum of 50 bob for a beard shave! 50 bob, I muse, so what gives those chaps in Nairobi the temerity to charge 200 bob for a simple shave?
But then again what standards of hygiene can be observed at 50 bob? Do they really thoroughly clean those hot towels or do they just rinse them off after the last customer and then reuse it on you when it is your turn? And that aftershave in a plastic bottle has to be the cheapest and smelliest on the market!
But again, the fact of the matter is that each town, market, village, county in Kenya etc has its own style of doing things and relating it to somewhere else is doing it a great disservice. So I will just take it one day at a time as I explore the possibilities that are there in Nyeri and consume what is available leaving my options open.
This was a rude awakening since these are things that I have always taken for granted while shopping in Nairobi but which in Nyeri seem to be exotic, alien products probably since the suppliers do not wish to have dead stock on the shelves so choose to supply only their most popular flavors guaranteed to fly off the shelves. But don’t get me wrong! These products may be available somewhere around but I have not found them yet. The reality of small town Kenya is now sinking in and it involves decisions such as where to eat, where to get a haircut and a carwash or even a decent pub.
Nairobi spoils one for choice given that there a myriad of options to choose from on one street alone. In Nyeri a barber's shop is bound to be one of those River Road look alike places where we were taken by my father back in the day for a crew cut by Kinyanjui in a setting comprising those old comfortable barber chairs with poorly drawn characters on the wall depicting the various haircut and beard shave styles or a place squeezed in between an MPesa outlet and a restaurant almost as if it were an afterthought by the landlord where a poorly designed barber’s chair is located in an environment where three people present threatens to cause a riot all for the princely sum of 50 bob for a beard shave! 50 bob, I muse, so what gives those chaps in Nairobi the temerity to charge 200 bob for a simple shave?
But then again what standards of hygiene can be observed at 50 bob? Do they really thoroughly clean those hot towels or do they just rinse them off after the last customer and then reuse it on you when it is your turn? And that aftershave in a plastic bottle has to be the cheapest and smelliest on the market!
But again, the fact of the matter is that each town, market, village, county in Kenya etc has its own style of doing things and relating it to somewhere else is doing it a great disservice. So I will just take it one day at a time as I explore the possibilities that are there in Nyeri and consume what is available leaving my options open.
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
I am now based in Nyeri:
Happy new year to all of you! It has been a busy last few weeks leaving me with little time to devote to my blog hence the reason that the blog has remained inactive for close to a month.
I am now firmly in Nyeri in the shadows of Mount Kenya that for the last two days has been visible every morning unlike previous visits to Nyeri where it has remained shyly cloaked in a cumulus of clouds. Perhaps the great mountain is welcoming me to this town and showing me its true beauty. But maybe I am running ahead of myself and some of you are lost so let me start from the beginning.
My employer has officially transferred me to Nyeri to start a new branch in the town and to also roll out a regional presence in the Central region. I reported to Nyeri last week, stayed in a hotel for a few days and then found myself a 2 bedroomed apartment in one of the better area codes of this town that is the seat of Nyeri County and importantly close to a golf course at Nyeri Club. It is less than a 5 minute drive to/from work.
My experiences so far have been humbling based on the fact that all my working life I have been based in Nairobi and now all the creature comforts that we all take for granted as being available only in the big city are also available here and to a greater or lesser extent at a more modest cost.
Parking fees is Kshs. 50.00 per day and I was unfortunate enough to have my car clamped last week and the fine was Kshs. 600.00 for that. The county government staff are quite efficient also as I found out during the clamping incident which was out of ignorance as I did not see the usual yellow jacketed attendant at the usual spot where I pay my daily parking ticket and had assumed that Saturday was a free day while they actually charge for parking until 4.00 pm!! Now I know better. Once clamped, they stick a notice on your car windscreen with a number to call and the unclamping team then comes within 10 minutes, you pay them the fine and they unclamp your car with the receipt that they have given you the one that you put on your dashboard. Monthly parking is charged at Kshs. 1,000.00
When I went to pay for a new water meter and connection, I expected much worse but I was pleasantly surprised to finish the whole process in less than 30 minutes and for my water to be connected within 24 hours of application in my case by the next business day Monday as I had only paid for the services on Friday. No follow up, no delays, no rudeness just pure efficiency. What a breath of fresh air when compared with other places I have applied for water! The electricity meter is a prepaid meter that you pay through MPesa so no horrible queuing there either.
Housing in Nyeri for middle class is also readily available and on my first foray with an estate agent I learnt that a two bedroomed house would be yours for a monthly rent from Kshs. 10,000.00 to Kshs. 15,000.00. What I got however is slightly more expensive and to put it into perspective would probably command a rent of between Kshs. 45,000.00 to Kshs. 80,000.00 per month (dependent on location) in Nairobi. It is in a block of 12 units with a common entrance, 24 hours guarding services, razor wire atop a stone wall surrounding the property, wi-fi enabled and with DSTV connection so the premium that I shall pay is well worth it. I am now working towards furnishing the apartment ready to recieve my first guests in due course.
People also tend to be friendlier here and my Nairobi bad manners will soon have to go assuming that I have any!! Also no traffic jams here though the town is a beehive of activity with many small and medium businesses operating throughout the day. Many of the big banks, insurance companies and service providers also have a presence in this town as well as a smattering of indigenous SACCO’s and businesses. The supermarkets (three in total) also stock most of the household and domestic items that you shall find in any of the giant chains of supermarkets in the country today and are always full of shoppers looking to buy anything from a fridge to a GOTV decoder.
For now I am on a mission to understand the business environment in the town so as to better market our product offering when we open for business in a few days’ time. It looks promising because in the short period that I have been in Nyeri many people have been walking in and enquiring about our products and services and promising to open new accounts when we are finally open for business.
I hope to be able to continue blogging in the New Year once things settle down.
I am now firmly in Nyeri in the shadows of Mount Kenya that for the last two days has been visible every morning unlike previous visits to Nyeri where it has remained shyly cloaked in a cumulus of clouds. Perhaps the great mountain is welcoming me to this town and showing me its true beauty. But maybe I am running ahead of myself and some of you are lost so let me start from the beginning.
My employer has officially transferred me to Nyeri to start a new branch in the town and to also roll out a regional presence in the Central region. I reported to Nyeri last week, stayed in a hotel for a few days and then found myself a 2 bedroomed apartment in one of the better area codes of this town that is the seat of Nyeri County and importantly close to a golf course at Nyeri Club. It is less than a 5 minute drive to/from work.
My experiences so far have been humbling based on the fact that all my working life I have been based in Nairobi and now all the creature comforts that we all take for granted as being available only in the big city are also available here and to a greater or lesser extent at a more modest cost.
Parking fees is Kshs. 50.00 per day and I was unfortunate enough to have my car clamped last week and the fine was Kshs. 600.00 for that. The county government staff are quite efficient also as I found out during the clamping incident which was out of ignorance as I did not see the usual yellow jacketed attendant at the usual spot where I pay my daily parking ticket and had assumed that Saturday was a free day while they actually charge for parking until 4.00 pm!! Now I know better. Once clamped, they stick a notice on your car windscreen with a number to call and the unclamping team then comes within 10 minutes, you pay them the fine and they unclamp your car with the receipt that they have given you the one that you put on your dashboard. Monthly parking is charged at Kshs. 1,000.00
When I went to pay for a new water meter and connection, I expected much worse but I was pleasantly surprised to finish the whole process in less than 30 minutes and for my water to be connected within 24 hours of application in my case by the next business day Monday as I had only paid for the services on Friday. No follow up, no delays, no rudeness just pure efficiency. What a breath of fresh air when compared with other places I have applied for water! The electricity meter is a prepaid meter that you pay through MPesa so no horrible queuing there either.
Housing in Nyeri for middle class is also readily available and on my first foray with an estate agent I learnt that a two bedroomed house would be yours for a monthly rent from Kshs. 10,000.00 to Kshs. 15,000.00. What I got however is slightly more expensive and to put it into perspective would probably command a rent of between Kshs. 45,000.00 to Kshs. 80,000.00 per month (dependent on location) in Nairobi. It is in a block of 12 units with a common entrance, 24 hours guarding services, razor wire atop a stone wall surrounding the property, wi-fi enabled and with DSTV connection so the premium that I shall pay is well worth it. I am now working towards furnishing the apartment ready to recieve my first guests in due course.
People also tend to be friendlier here and my Nairobi bad manners will soon have to go assuming that I have any!! Also no traffic jams here though the town is a beehive of activity with many small and medium businesses operating throughout the day. Many of the big banks, insurance companies and service providers also have a presence in this town as well as a smattering of indigenous SACCO’s and businesses. The supermarkets (three in total) also stock most of the household and domestic items that you shall find in any of the giant chains of supermarkets in the country today and are always full of shoppers looking to buy anything from a fridge to a GOTV decoder.
For now I am on a mission to understand the business environment in the town so as to better market our product offering when we open for business in a few days’ time. It looks promising because in the short period that I have been in Nyeri many people have been walking in and enquiring about our products and services and promising to open new accounts when we are finally open for business.
I hope to be able to continue blogging in the New Year once things settle down.
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