Was I a victim of a conman?

An old guy walks into the newest bank in town, he wants to open an account and it’s only the Manager that can assist him. So I see him.

He is one of these talkative types that can spend a whole morning shooting the breeze and says he is a big shot owning properties in various towns and cities across Kenya though his weathered looks, nondescript dressing and bad teeth don’t indicate it. I have dealt with enough old men over the years who have made heaps of money through their various business ventures at the expense of crooked or non-existent teeth. If you have so much money the least you should do is fix your teeth for crying out loud! He wants to open an account for a group of which he is the Treasurer.

He walks with a limp and has a fascinating story…………..why do guys with bad teeth have so much to say…………….. and why to me? He walks with a limp because he was involved in a serious accident on Mombasa Road a few year back as he rushed to his hotel somewhere in Machakos County where a deal worth millions was stewing awaiting his signature. This is where it gets interesting because the accident was a head on collision with a trailer and he was doing 190 km/hr!

I am no expert at these things but surviving a head on collision at 190 km/hr with a possible closing speed of over 220 km/hr between the two vehicles.....a trailer being one of them is fatal from whatever angle you call this one but I am just narrating what he told me. He gets comfortable; after all he has a rapt bank manager that wants his account and continues with his story...and by the way I didn’t bother to ask him what type of car he was driving.

He explains how after the accident his legs were badly damaged on impact but he somehow survived but was confined to a wheelchair. The experts and hospitals he visits in Kenya are not mincing their words and tell him that they need to amputate and he shall never walk again. One of the hospitals however offers him a second opinion of referring him to an Indian Hospital so long as he pays the full fee in Kenya of Kshs. 3.6 Million. By now he claims to have spent in excess of Kshs. 3 Million without any positive developments including specialists, operations and weeks in hospital recuperating from his injuries.

Long story short he finally chooses to go to India after talks with a friend and after sending his X-rays to one of the leading hospitals there for a second opinion and the Indian doctors tell him that they don’t need to amputate. They can instead do hip replacement surgery and after 4 weeks he should be able to walk again all this at a total cost of Kshs. 860K. I wish they had also told him that they could fix his teeth too for 10K. After a few months of recuperation back home in Kenya he is able to walk with the aid of a cane and now no longer requires it but the limp is permanent.

Then he gets into the reason why they need to open an account. It’s a safety net for him and 29 of his elderly friends many of whom don’t have the resources to manage a huge medical bill. They shall be contributing Kshs. 500.00 per person per day a cool Kshs. 15K for the group and need an account where they can bank this money and why not the newest bank in town. In fact, he goes on, they recently held a successful fund raiser for one of their group members who required Kshs.1.9 Million to offset medical bills after an illness and he is rushing to Nairobi for another fundraiser to try and raise the difference and, without batting an eyelid, asks me to chip in something!

That was 7 days ago, and they guy hasn’t shown up. I am not sure if he was a con man or not. I had thrown in some names of some people I know in Machakos and he had given me an elaborate history of one of them so maybe he does have a hotel in that county and he does know the people that I mentioned. My Kshs. 500.00 contribution to his harambee may have been in vain and may have gone towards buying a drink for his friends…..while laughing at the gullible bank manager, but I’d recognize him from his bad teeth any day and if he is a resident of Nanyuki our paths shall surely cross.

And that folks was my baptism as we opened for business in Nanyuki and I am now Kshs.500.00 (if truth be told it was a whooping Kshs. 1,000.00) poorer!

I am now resident in Nanyuki:

I’ve finally moved to Nanyuki. It was a journey that began almost 4 years ago with a sojourn through Nyeri for two and a half years.

It is a very cosmopolitan town much like Nairobi. The town has restaurants and hotels galore to cater for any ‘kabila’ under the sun. There are the places catering to the mzungu crowd at 350 bob a beer and those catering to the wazee at 160 bob a beer…..just like Nairobi. They have Indian and Chinese restaurants selling almost authentic cuisine…..just like Nairobi. All the mzungu joints sell pizza…….just like Nairobi. This is a town with a heartbeat, a pulse and always on the move despite the dust, clouds and clouds of the stuff.

In retrospect the Nyeri County government got it right with tarmacking the footpaths in Nyeri town because that is one dust free town when compared to Nanyuki……..even if, as it was widely rumored, someone made a killing in the process.

So back to Nanyuki. It took me some time to get a house that I felt mirrored my stature in society. After all a bank manager has to live in a half decent house in the better part of any town and by Nanyuki standards I think I nailed it. The house however is nowhere near the class of my abode in Nyeri which is a revelation given that this town is home to BATUK, the Laikipia Air Base and more high class tourist lodges and game ranches than anywhere else in Kenya and I had assumed would have better quality of residential facilities. At one place that I visited while house hunting, I was told that the entire structure 12 to 15 apartment units had been booked and paid for by the British Army and the developers were now redesigning the place to suit the needs of the soldiers soon moving in!

Put it this way, those who can afford a ton of cash for a house are well catered for as are those who just need a humble abode for amounts upto 12K in rent so long as you are not very particular with the surroundings. The rest of us in the middle are another thing altogether, we don’t have a very big pool to search from though that seems to be changing with a lot of residential construction that appears to cater for this missing middle about to be delivered to the market in the next few months.

The other day I met up with a potential client. After we had had our discussion it inevitably went around to the night life in the town and he wondered why he hadn’t seen me in the joints preferred by my age mates. He then went on to give me a list of the places that he thought I should frequent and mix with people of my ‘riika’, with an even longer list of places where I would be bombarded with loud music and youngsters and therefore should keep off!

Like the proverbial naughty boy who does the opposite of what he is told not to do I prefer to be a non-conformist and so last Saturday I visited the joint that was top on the list of places NOT to visit…….and I must say that I had a great time thanks to the funky music playing with a young hip hop crowd in a very well appointed setting. Granted I left fairly early by 10.00 am before the real noise started. It’s a place I’ll definitely want to visit again. On Sunday I visited the other place I was told not to frequent and I was also pleasantly surprised as it is somewhere I shall most definitely visit in future.

So I have my two bedroom house in a fairly upmarket location. Access is through a locked gate where the landlady also lives guarded by a posse of a duck and drake fearlessly unleashing a cacophony of sounds guaranteed to scare away even the most deviant of thugs should they decide to intrude on our little paradise. I have wonderful view of Mount Kenya most mornings as I make my way to work and I am still searching for that elusive barber shop who shall cater to my every whim.

Within the same compound albeit separate from the unit that I live in is an upcoming complex of 6 two bedroom apartment units marked with the ominous red “X” of the National Construction Authority supposedly for the developers not adhering to the authorities requirement of having a construction signage on site giving all the required details. Whether this is the truth or a cock and bull story, I’ll know soon enough when I get home and the complex has been demolished!!

And before I forget the bank has opened for business in Nanyuki. I’ll miss my work colleagues in Nyeri who threw a surprise breakfast bash in Nyeri last week where they gave me some parting gifts spiced with some equally kind words for being the absolute best boss that they have ever worked with……..or so they told me!

I’ll also miss my Rotary Club of Nyeri group that has been all the family that I needed when I was in Nyeri……..May you all live long and happy lives while keeping the Rotary fire burning.