You, I we are all corrupt !

I am disturbed today! In fact I am extremely disturbed and disgusted with myself because I am corrupt so says Transparency International (TI) in the Global Corruption Barometer report released recently. Kenya is at number four globally on the list, with only Sierra Leoneans, Liberians and Yemenis more corrupt than us!

The report says that I bribe the cops, I bribe my way at the Lands office, I bribe my parliamentarians, I bribe the headmaster to get my kids into schools as well as bribe the judges and magistrates who dispense justice. But is this really the case?

A recent case of a local MP in Nairobi nabbed red-handed topping up his Kshs. 1,000,000.00 plus salary with a bribe of Kshs. 100,000.00 is probably an indicator that the report is not too far off the mark as are cases of petty bribery that cause our rotund and portly police officers to assume the ‘Usain Bolt’ position when caught as they flee unsuccessfully, distended midriffs dancing a discombobulated jig, from the clutches of the anti-graft officers composed of swift, slim and trim graduands as hundreds of Kenyans become yet another damning statistic as they fall victim to yet another avoidable road accident as unwitting victims of corruption.

Who can forget the sad scenes of palatial mansions costing millions of shillings being demolished a couple of years ago and the hysterical wailing of those who were affected as they watched their life savings brought down by a bulldozer and who knew all along that they had cast iron title deeds in their hands victims of scheming and bribing of Lands Office staff or those languishing in prison in perpetual misery having been found guilty of non-existent offences their only crime being tried by corrupted judges and magistrates willing to sell justice to the highest bidders!

But why is there no hue and cry? Why is there no national uprising if we feel that we have been slandered? Is it because TI is right? Is it true that we are actually corrupt? You, I and all Kenyans have been branded with the branding iron of corruption and we should hang our heads in shame as we once again become the laughing stock of our neighbors!

Shame on us!!

The thanksgiving function:

I had the privilege to attend a function recently in rural Muranga the land of my ancestors. Muranga is a beautiful, verdant and bountiful place that starts 40 kilometers from Nairobi though the place where the function was held is about 85 kilometers from the capital city of Kenya in Kigumo Constituency of Muranga County.

The occasion was a thanksgiving function for Mr. James Macharia who also happens to be my relative and who was the immediate former CEO of NIC Bank Ltd and who had recently been appointed as a Cabinet Secretary for Health by his Excellency the President of Kenya after a rigorous vetting process.

After an uneventful drive broken only by a stop at Blue Post Hotel in Thika where those invited had congregated so as to leave together in a convoy, we arrived at Kamunganga ACK Church the venue of the function to find a huge tent packed with a multitude of probably 2000 strong all expectant and eagerly awaiting the forthcoming festivities. In attendance was a strong contingent of Muranga politicians led by the County Governor, The Senator, the local MP, MP’s from other constituencies in Muranga and elsewhere, the Muranga women’s representative, members of the local county assembly, the area deputy county commissioner, ward representatives and local chiefs. Also present was an 11 strong clergy led by the ACK Bishop of Mount Kenya Central as well as captains of business and industry, representatives of the banking fraternity, friends, family and well-wishers. The local administration was in full swing backed up by armed uniformed and plain clothes police officers to ensure that security prevailed.

I have known James for a very long time as a close family member and he has come across as a genuinely caring and down to earth person notwithstanding his high status in society. He attends family functions without much prompting even on relatively short notice and is always quick to offer a word of encouragement and advise when needed. The multitude that had gathered were here to celebrate the recognition of the hard work and determination of an individual who had chosen to exit the relative safety and security of the private sector for the rough and tumble of the public service for the greater good of his country!

The ceremony started with a church service with much singing and powerful spiritual messages being delivered by the Bishop and his team with a famous Kikuyu gospel musician adding spice to the service by belting out some favorite and well known gospel hits that many sang along to. The local administration, family members, friends, banking fraternity representatives and politicians were then invited to give their brief comments  by the presiding MC’s who all extolled the virtues of James and his appointment to this high office as well as the expectations (by the politicians) as one of their own.

The most memorable of these speeches was from the obviously overjoyed father who talked about his joy and happiness that his son was now in the Health docket and since he and his wife suffered from Diabetes they were now almost cured knowing that their son was in charge of not only their health but that of millions of Kenyans across the country! It was priceless!!

Then it was the turn of the guest of honor to make his speech and a moving and memorable one it was as he recalled his days while growing up and studying in rural Kenya and having never dreamt of being in the position he is at today and explaining the process of how he had been requested to submit his CV (which he did though he was out of the country), how he had then been called personally by the president, how his interview went, how the vetting process went……………..there was pin drop silence as the audience lapped up this first hand narration up and raucous applause as he introduced those present who had made this possible.  

To me the most poignant part of James’s speech was in extolling the virtues of getting an education and the fact that whatever seed that one sowed would eventually bear fruit and that hard work and determination were key in developing a successful career and this from a person who reported to the office at 6.15 am a message directed at those in schools and colleges as well as those just starting off in their professional careers!! But the icing on the cake was that this was not just idle talk. His hard work had paid off because, he went on, NIC Bank his former employer in recognition of the hard work he had put in over the 8 years he had led the institution in the process growing the assets of the bank more than 10 times over had written off a substantial amount outstanding on his mortgage loan and had also given him a parting gift of a brand new BMW 4x4. He was quick to point out that this was not bragging but a true reflection and statement of what had transpired.

In retrospect, I guess the message that he was conveying was that in life, what appears to be on the surface was not always what was on the ground. He had no reason to tell the congregation that his home loan had been paid off nor that his brand new car was a gift from a grateful employer and could have left such matters unsaid for all to believe that he had purchased these items from his own resources content and basking in the glory of owning them free of any encumbrances title and all. But no, not James full of humility to the end willing to bare all so that those present could understand what a person of integrity was all about. It will not surprise me if many of our fellow brothers and sisters out there have similarly been gifted items of a substantial worth by their employers in recognition of their unparalleled contributions to the success of their organisations but who choose to hide this information from the world for their own reasons!!

That show of utmost humility flanked by his wife, son and daughter was I am sure an emotional prick on the conscience of many since it was delivered without any fawning, bragging or overly justifying the reasons behind such ostentatious gifts and I have no doubt in my mind that James will make a significant impact on the provision of health services in this country that will continue for many years to come.

That was one thanksgiving that I was glad I attended that finished with a delicious lunch served at 5.00 pm to all those present hungry as we all were after a marathon 6 hours and I wish him and his team at the Ministry of Health all the success as they embark on this difficult journey of ensuring good health care to Kenyans now and in the future.

Men are hopeless at multitasking:

The fact that men are hopeless at multitasking came to me literally with a thud and rather painfully at that recently. I had attended a meeting at one of the offices where I work and unbeknownst to me the venue had changed from one floor to another. The new meeting venue was just four short flights down, so I chose to take the stairs rather than the lifts.

So there I was walking down the stairs and decided in the interest of time to also send a text message on my phone, while clutching onto my tablet an important business tool to me. One careful step at a time I made steady progress down the first flight of stairs and then I rounded the corner to the next level of stairs still texting away when disaster struck!

Up until now I have no idea what happened, I am not sure if I missed a step or miscalculated the distance to the next step or what because one minute I was busy texting away and a Nano second later, I was on my butt and bumpity, bumpity, bumpiting down the stairs. Instinct kicked in and I reached out to get a hold of the bannister to stop my rapid decent and possible serious injury forgetting for an instant that I was holding onto my tablet, which naturally flew out of my hand and fell two levels down to the next landing where it fell flat on its back the impact thankfully absorbed by the protective case that I had bought along with the tablet.

By this time my rapid gravity aided descent had been halted by my grabbing onto the bannister but not before sliding down four, possibly five stairs thankfully not witnessed by anyone the sound of the tablet slapping down on the landing below the only noisy interlude to a fairly action packed but quiet and tense few seconds.

I gingerly stood up unsure if there was any physical injury on myself, but thank God all seemed fine as I was able to curl my fingers and flex my joints and appendages without any serious pain save for the soft tissue bruising in my nether regions and possibly a mild sprain in my wrist where I had grabbed onto the bannister that is expected in such a situation! I made my way slowly to the meeting having collected my still functional tablet on the landing below, now suitably mollified and chastised having escaped with what could have been a nasty injury, my text message now forgotten and phone in the pocket holding onto the bannister for dear life lest a similar fate or worse befalls me before I got to the meeting.

It was only several days later the lingering pain on my backside now a distant memory and the embarrassment of falling down the stairs almost forgotten, that I retold the incident to my rather bemused wife. Nowadays I avoid multitasking as much as possible particulary when doing something physical lest I find myself in similar and painful situations.

So truly if something so mundane and everyday and as simple as walking down a flight of stairs while texting on the phone can go so awry, what hope is there for us men in a world that will soon be dominated by our multitasking sisters!!