The “Cow Syndrome”

A Chinese story is told of a wise man that after many weeks of travel hungry, thirsty and running out of supplies came across a very poor farmer and his wife and son who offered him and his assistant some food to eat, water to drink and a place to spend the night. The farmer and his family were very poor and their clothes were well worn and had seen better days while the house was of the poorest quality, with a leaky roof, was poorly constructed and clearly the farmer despite having a large tract of land was struggling financially his only source of income the money that he and his family got from selling milk to their neighbors from their one solitary cow.

The next day as the wise man set off on his journey he turned to his assistant and told him to lead the cow out of the farm and push it off a nearby cliff to its certain death. Questioning the wisdom of his master for instructing him to lead the only income generating asset that the poor farmer had to its death after his generosity in sharing the little that he and his family had he nonetheless went ahead and did his masters bidding and off they went on their merry way the assistant with a heavy heart for surely they had condemned the farmer and his family to a pitiful life.

Many years later the wise man and his faithful assistant happened to pass by the same area and instead of a poor shack they found a beautiful and magnificent house, well-tended fields with a variety of food crops and a well-stocked granary and gleaming farm machines in the barn and the garage all looked after by a retinue of workers and servants. The farmer and his family were clothed in shiny clothes and looked prosperous and well fed. The wise man introduced himself to the farmer and asked him the source of his wealth whereupon he told him of a wise man whom he had accommodated in his home many years ago but that had repaid him by pushing his cow off a cliff to its death and how that had been his only income generating asset for him and his family.

He went on to explain that after the loss of his cow he struggled financially as he had no other source of income and decided to start farming on his piece of land to at least feed himself and his family. In the process he realized that they would grow more than they could consume and so they began diversfying the food that they grew selling some of their produce to their neighbors and soon they were suppliers to hotels and other businesses in the area. The act of that wise man in pushing the cow of the cliff had grown his wealth into what it was today he explained and if that cow were still alive he would still have been selling the milk and his life would not have improved at all!! The” cow syndrome” was consigning the farmer to a life of penury while he thought that it was his source of livelihood.

Today I came across such a person that has shed off the “cow syndrome”. It was a lady, let’s call her Joyce, whom we had extended a loan facility to increase her residential units so as to supplement with rent her income from her job at a nearby school as well as her poultry business. However as is wont to happen and despite the best of intentions, Joyce’s tenants moved out en-mass for whatever reason, her chickens were afflicted by a mysterious disease and died and suddenly she was unable to meet the loan instalments she had committed to pay monthly. In the process her telephone was stolen and unable to get a replacement she remained unreachable.

The situation rapidly went downhill and unable to contact Joyce as her loans were now in arrears we went in search of her at her home where by my colleagues were directed to her place of work at the nearby school where they were able to talk to her and understand her predicament and agree on a course of action in regards to the repayment of her facilities.

It would appear that there was a storm already brewing in regards to Joyce’s future at her place of employment because as she mentioned to me she was thereafter sacked by the school management with no notice for the grievous crime of being visited by CID officers (my colleagues) and was not accorded the right to tell her side of the story and be heard as is required under HR practices and the law!

The unfairness or otherwise of her sacking or indeed the flimsy reason for her joblessness is not the topic I am discussing here because if she so wishes she may pursue her tormentors through the acceptable legal processes to get redress. As she mentions to me this was the turning point in her life because Joyce has crossed the Rubicon, her cow had been pushed off a cliff and she is now a much happier and contented person then when she was in employment and my offer to help her with a letter to the school administration so as to get her job back explaining that my colleagues were not CID officers has been firmly but politely rejected.

Her employer had shackled her to her desk for 16 years and she had very little time (as anyone in formal employment shall attest) to engage in other activities to improve her livelihood and now that she is free she has found a new lease of life, looks more contented and happy and has even been able to engage in some focused income generating activities that has allowed her to catch up on her loan repayments and looks forward to a more prosperous life in future. Life now looks rosy!!

My colleagues drove her cow off a cliff and she is now thankful for the opportunity this has given her in revealing a hitherto hidden new lease of life!! So push your cow off the cliff and see what will emerge if you are fed up with your current cow…….you’ll never know unless you try!!

How my year has kicked off:

Today is Day 62. It has been 62 days since I had a drink after I took a decision that I needed a detox period from booze. Over the years I have talked about it but this time I decided to just do it, cold turkey, without any fanfare and without consulting anyone or making those pacts that I see other making that if caught drinking anything alcoholic it’s a 10K fine!

It’s difficult to give all the gory details so let’s just say that I was an occasional drinker and mainly on weekends so it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be though for the first three weeks I craved the taste of beer – my favorite tipple – until I discovered a beer with 0% alcohol called Bavaria that became my favorite drink. It has all the effects of any other beer except that you don’t get the buzz. You pee just as you would and it tastes pretty much the same as any other beer but has no other effect and it was kind of strange, but I persisted and today I don’t even feel like I need the taste of beer.

What I also discovered was non-alcoholic wine though why they call it wine is beyond me as it is just sparkling juice and too sweet at that. I also discovered that many pubs do not cater for the non-alcoholic drinker save for a soft drink, juice, water and tea so many times I would find myself having a soft drink or a juice if I found myself at a pub. Even the humble mocktail (a cocktail minus the alcohol) in some pubs and bars are unavailable and it seems that the non-alcoholic imbiber is neither recognized nor welcome at many joints. It made me feel like my vegetarian friends who are terribly shortchanged in many restaurants in Kenya by the absence of a variety of vegetarian fare!

While the choice to begin my fast was accidental it could not have come at a better time when the temptation is highest and invitations to all kinds of functions where drinks flow in abundance is at an all-time high during the Christmas and New Year festivities! When Lucifer is tempting you and your conscience refuses to falter to his entreaties then you know that you can soldier on and even my colleagues during the end of year party and the family reunion on Christmas Day couldn’t believe that I was not imbibing!

There are obvious and myriad advantages to not drinking that I have come to appreciate. I recall things much more easily now thanks to a clearer head unclouded by the fog of that fifth beer. I had a great difficulty remembering names and faces but this has improved over the last two months. My appetite has never been better than it has been over the past 60 odd days and I don’t miss a single meal. My sleep pattern is also great and I either sleep dreamlessly or have sweet dreams of positive things in life unlike the nightmares of old where I’d wake up in a cold sweat. My spouse however now complains that I sleep too early so I guess you can't please everyone!!

That is how I started the year 2016 that is already three weeks old and my initial timeline was to take a three month sabbatical from alcohol and reassess the situation thereafter so I still have another 31 days or so to go. I am not sure what I’ll do when my sabbatical is over and I shall take that decision when necessary to do so.

For now I am a teetotaler and loving it. I can’t quite seem to understand how people stay up until late at night imbibing on their favorite tipple and generally seeming to have a good time. You can only drink so many soft drinks, Bavarias or juices after all so I don’t have the urge to stay up later than I should making small talk as I struggle to stay awake!

So for the time being if you offer me a drink, don’t be shocked if my choice is not what you expect as there is a time and a place for everything. And for those of my friends, who have embraced this detox from alcohol thingy, hang in there and don’t listen to the naysayers who will tempt you with an alcoholic drink of your choice no matter the cost. If I can do it so can you!

And before I forget Happy New Year to all of you!!

Short insight - Where not to eat in Nyeri when hungry:

I had half an hour to spare as my vehicle was being serviced at a garage in a local petrol station, so I popped into a nearby hotel as I browsed my newspaper for some lunch. This hotel is one of the oldest in Nyeri and has an excellent location in a commercial/business area so the expectation is that it should always have a sizeable crowd in the restaurant. But today I was alone and this should have alerted me that something was amiss.

So I take my seat and ask for the special of the day that was advertised on the board at the entrance to the hotel. It’s my favorite pork and chips and I figure that being the special of the day it should take very little time to prepare and I should be in and out in 20 minutes tops. As I wait I ask for a soft drink which I sip on in anticipation of a sumptuous meal soon.

After 10 minutes, a threesome arrives for lunch and takes their seats at a table and now we are four patrons. “Poor guys” I think to myself “do they know how long it will take to get served in this place?” It has now been 20 minutes after all and there is no sign of my meal and I am alone so surely for three people it shall take double or even triple the amount of time it shall take to get my meal to the table.

I continue reading my newspaper, the hunger pangs biting and I looking anxiously at my watch wondering what’s taking so long but secure in the knowledge that I shall be out of there before the threesome has even started on their meal. Finally I see the waitress who is serving me appear with a jug and a bowl to wash my hands – a uniquely Kenyan tradition even if the meal requires no use of the hands - and the hunger pangs now nip even more brutally. It has now been 30 minutes since I showed up!

I don’t believe what I am seeing though as she goes straight to the table of three not even acknowledging my presence and proceeds to wash their hands. “Perhaps” I think to myself “I am next!” but alas done with the threesome she troops off to wherever they go when hiding from customers and returns with the utensils to help the Johnnie-come-lately’s enjoy their meal. A few minutes later she comes out laden with three plates of food and proceeds to serve the threesome. It is now 40 minutes since I took my seat.

Now all pretensions of being a gentleman are gone and I hiss at her (why do we do that?) to come to my table and I can see that she is quite uncomfortable because she knows that I am hungry and possibly upset because of the length of time it has taken not to serve me and in addition a threesome who came after me has been served before me.

I tell her that I can’t wait any longer for my meal as I am busy and I need to pay for my soft drink expecting her to apologize and try to hurry up the order, but she is either clueless on to how to handle an angry customer or more likely has no training in managing the situation that she finds herself in at present. I promptly pay for my soft drink, walk to the garage, collect my vehicle and go to the office where I sit licking my wounds the hunger pangs still gnawing away but too upset to think of eating even as I write about this nasty experience.

That folks is my experience at the recently refurbished Central Hotel in Nyeri. The hotel has been recently taken over by a tenant – the second in the past year – and they still can’t seem to get it right! The outside sitting area on a sunny day is the perfect place to have a leisurely meal as you catch up on the news but the atrocious service standards and lack of clientele seems to suggest a lackadaisical approach to customer service.

You’d expect that an upmarket restaurant in a town where upmarket restaurants are few and far between would be falling over itself to attract the local business and office crowd but alas this is not the first time I am experiencing mediocre service at the place the first time being about two months ago when the management changed hands and they went around town distributing vouchers for free lunches to introduce the hotel to the masses! On that day the food took about 20 minutes to arrive and some of the accompaniments were cold and the presentation barely exciting to any of my nerve endings.

So you have been warned, avoid that place like the plague and if you know the guys managing the place tell them that they need to shape up on their service because hungry people don’t like to wait for their food for any length of time beyond 10 minutes. As for me they have lost my custom however little it was contributing to their bottom line.

I’m done with lunch today and shall have an early dinner at home instead but that experience has left a nasty taste in my mouth pun fully intended!!